That was my day yesterday.
Now, I have to say, I've had worse days in the past. If this was as bad as it ever got, well, I'd be doing OK.
But it was still a bad day. The worst I've had in a while.
It started at 6:00 am, when Isaac woke me, wanting to go out to pee.
It had turned cold overnight and my fibro had kicked up a few notches. It was not the most fibro pain I'd ever felt, not even close. But it was more than I've felt in quite a while. If the worst ever is a 10, and last winter I was frequently at an 8 or 9, well, yesterday was maybe a 6. But for most of the summer, it's been maybe a 2 at most. So it was a bit of a shock.
The bottom of my left foot hurt, a lot. How weird is that? Other places hurt, too, but especially the bottom of my left foot. Fibro is like that. Hurts in weird places.
Isaac and I were supposed to go to the nursing home and then this guy I've been seeing for a little while was supposed to come over. I thought about cancelling everything. Staying home instead. But I wanted to go to the nursing home and I wanted the guy to come over. So I pushed myself to get up. I took a long hot bath, which always helps.
And Isaac and I went to the nursing home. It was a good visit.
I was feeling a little anxious. I thought it was because of the fibro. I took some anxiety meds and tried to ignore it.
The guy I've been seeing came over. We were, let's say, making out a bit. And something got triggered. I had a flashback. This has happened to me before but not in a long, long time. I'd figured it could still happen again some time but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't.
I wanted to be alone. I told the guy to leave. I took a double dose of my anxiety meds and went to sleep. And I slept off and on the rest of the day, and all night, only waking up to take Isaac out and sometimes to eat something.
I finally pulled myself out of bed this morning. I took a hot bath and went to the grocery store to pick up a few things and now I'm trying to finish an article I meant to finish yesterday but ended up not even working on at all.
I'm disappointed it was such a bad day yesterday. I'm kind of pissed about the flashback. Not at myself and not at the guy, just at the circumstances. At the same time, I feel I'm handling it pretty well, as well as I can, and that has to count for something.
I hope to take Isaac for a long walk later today before I have to go tutor. He's antsy after being kept inside all day yesterday. And hopefully today will end up being a better day.