The Obligation to be Healthy

Yes, I'm still thinking about this.  The more I think about it, the more troubled I get.

Yesterday there was a discussion on an internet forum about whether or not it is OK to be fat.  Opinions differed but many people said they thought it was OK to be fat IF the fat person was healthy.  That made me ask if people are obligated to be healthy, and one person specifically said, we are obligated to be healthy.  Others seemed to agree with that statement, although they might not have said so in those exact words.  Several people said things along the lines of people need to be able to work and pay their bills and take care of their families so that they are not a burden on society.

I’m troubled by this because I’m not perfectly healthy.  I have some pretty serious health problems, including severe recurrent treatment resistant major depression (how’s that for a diagnosis?) and PTSD.  Most likely, I will have these things forever.  Sometimes I manage them better than others but they aren’t going to go away, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to be healthy.  And I resent the implication that this means I am not OK.

Now, some people posted things like it’s OK if someone is not healthy as long as they are trying to get healthy.  But who gets to decide if I am trying hard enough to get better or not?  What if there are treatments I’ve decided not to try because they are too expensive and I can’t afford them (don’t want to be a burden on society by making all those healthy people pay my expensive medical bills, you know) or I feel the risk outweighs the possible benefits?  And is it really necessary for me to keep trying to “get better” even though I know the chances of recovery are so small?  Maybe I would prefer to accept myself as I am and learn to live with my conditions.  But some people might think that’s not OK.

Sometimes I am not able to work and pay all my bills.  That’s why I get Social Security and Medicare and sometimes I even get food from the food pantry.  Does that make me a burden on society?  Does society really judge our worth based on the amount of money we can earn and spend?  Unfortunately, I think many people do.  And before someone says oh no Kelly, we didn’t mean you, you aren’t a burden, consider why you might say that.  Maybe you think I am not a burden because you know me.   Maybe I’ve helped you in some way, maybe I’ve given you some helpful advice, maybe I stayed up talking to you on the phone the night before your surgery when you were scared.  Maybe you know I took care of my neighbors’ cat after the man next door was shot in the head and his wife spent weeks at his side in the hospital.  Maybe you know I took in my mentally ill nephew when he got kicked out of yet another foster home and needed a loving home.  Maybe you just think I’m a nice person.  And maybe you think those things mean I’m not a burden after all, even though other unhealthy people are.

But what makes you think all those other nameless unhealthy people you see as burdens aren’t nice people, too?  What makes you think they don’t do helpful things, even if they can’t work, even if they have a lot of medical bills that your tax dollars help to pay?

I know some people will continue to believe people are obligated to be healthy and that it is not OK to be less than healthy, no matter what I say.  I can’t change that.  But I can say that such an attitude is offensive and hurtful to me.