Tomorrow is the Day!

Tomorrow I get to meet Isaac.  I'm thrilled.  I plan to take pictures and will post them here.  I'm just so excited.

However, I'm also stressed out.  Not about meeting Isaac, but about fundraising.  So far I've raised/saved about $2,000, and I still need another $4,000.  I hate asking people for money.  Really, I hate asking for help with anything.  I feel like I am the one that needs a service dog, it should be my responsibility to pay for it.  But it would be impossible for me to pay for it myself.  Well, maybe not really impossible, but it would take a couple of years, probably, for me to save that much money.  I'm on disability.  I also have a lot of medical expenses.  I don't have discretionary income.  I barely earn enough to cover the basics.  I had to borrow money more than a year ago when my transmission went out in my car and I'm still paying that back.

I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to raise the money.  I believe a service dog would really change my life, really improve my quality of life.  And I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it happen.

I had a huge anxiety attack at the grocery store yesterday.  When I finally made it home, I thought that maybe I should just have Mike do the shopping from now on and I should stay home as much as possible.  It's too hard to go out and do things when I never know when an anxiety attack might strike.  When I told Mike my thoughts about that, he commented that that didn't sound like a very fulfilling life.  Well, of course not!  But having anxiety attacks and breaking down sobbing in the grocery store is not very fulfilling, either.

I really appreciate all the generous people that have donated money for my service dog.  I don't want to sound ungrateful.  I know no one owes me money.  I'm not upset with people that don't donate.  Good grief, there have been plenty of times in my life I would have liked to give money to a good cause but just didn't have it to give.  I understand that.

If anyone is able to help, though, just know it would be so very appreciated.  And seriously, it doesn't have to be a lot.  Really, just a dollar or two would help.  It all adds up.  I have to make this happen.