I Feel Like My Body Just Doesn't Work Like It's Supposed To

Of course, fibromyalgia is pretty much a body not working like it's supposed to.

But it's more than that.  Today I saw the periodontist again, follow up from my surgery and biopsy two weeks ago.

I am still having a lot of pain and there is still a lot of swelling and inflammation.  I knew things weren't right.

The periodontist confirmed that.  That was good, at least.  Too many times I've been told doctors couldn't find anything wrong, like with my back.  I hate being told something shouldn't hurt as much as it does and stuff like that.  I asked the periodontist if he could see the swelling in my mouth and he said, "Of course I can see that!"  He confirmed that something is definitely wrong, that there is much more swelling than there should be at this point, and that things are not healing like they should.

He just doesn't know why.

So now I have to go see an oral surgeon.  The periodontist said he thinks the surgeon will probably want to do a CT scan and then maybe another biopsy of a different area of my mouth.

I am not happy.  Not happy at all.

I see the surgeon on Friday.

I have no idea how I'm going to pay for all this.  My insurance might cover the CT scan, but won't cover the oral surgeon. 

And I am tired of my mouth hurting and tired of living on protein shakes, yogurt, pudding and applesauce.

And even though I know it's not my fault, I feel kind of like it is.  Like I'm doing something wrong.  Like it's my fault my body isn't working like it's supposed to.