You Can't Pet That Dog!

Today at the grocery store there were two young girls, maybe 8 and 10, doing cartwheels in the frozen food aisle. When Isaac and I walked by them, I heard one of them say "Oh, look at the dog!"

The other girl spoke right up and said "You can't pet that dog, that's a service dog!" I love it when kids know that.

Although I do think the frozen food aisle is not the best place to do cartwheels.

What Would Happen?

At the doctors office the other day:

Another patient in the waiting room (reading the "please don't pet me, I'm working" patch on Isaac's vest): What would happen if I pet him?

Me: I would tell you to knock it off.

Other patient: Oh.

Dogs Don't Talk

Lady in the waiting room at the podiatrist's office: I'm not allowed to pet you, am I?

Me: No, you are not allowed to pet me.

Lady: Um, I meant the dog.

Me: He doesn't talk.

Three Old Men and a Dog

Isaac and I are at McDonald's and three old men (think country-farmer-type old men) are having a discussion about service dogs.

Old Man #1: She's got that dog really well trained.

Old Man #2: It's got a thing on its side that says Please Don't Pet Me, I'm Working. It's a service dog.

Old Man #3: I bet she gets a lot of unwanted pets.

Old Man #2: Probably. But you ain't supposed to pet them.

Old Man #1: My dog wouldn't lay down like that.

Old Man #2: Your dog ain't a service dog.

Old Man #1: Good thing.

Old Man #3: I bet everybody wants to pet that dog.

Differences I've Noticed When Traveling

I've been in Michigan for a few days, a bit north of Detroit.  This is the third time I've visited my friend Traci in this area and each time, I've been struck by something.

Strangers do not bother my dog here.

No one pets without asking.  Yesterday while having breakfast at a diner, our server, upon noticing as we were getting up to leave that there was actually a dog under our table, bent down and said hello to Isaac.  But most people don't even do that.  I've had a couple people ask me if they could pet him, but most don't even ask.  And they don't baby talk to him, or make kissy noises, or bark at him.

Sometimes I get asked if I am training him and once someone asked me if I was blind.  Another time I was asked what was wrong with me.

But they don't bother the service dog.

Traci says it's because there is a program that trains guide dogs in the area and they train them all over around here and people are all used to them and know you aren't supposed to bother them.  I guess that's as good an explanation as any, but surely there are service dog programs in other areas, right?

But the difference is very  noticeable.  I stopped in a McDonald's near Toledo on my way here to get a drink and use the bathroom, and both the manager of the restaurant and another customer were petting Isaac without asking. Then I hit Detroit, and no one bothers him.  I stopped at a very busy sub place for lunch and a couple customers smiled at Isaac but no one stared, no one pointed, no one tried to pet him, no one made silly noises at him, no one even asked me intrusive questions. 

It's nice.

Saddle Up

I have an elderly neighbor who absolutely adores Isaac. She thinks he is the smartest dog that ever lived and takes every opportunity to tell anyone who will listen about how wonderful he is.

There is a new tenant in our building and yesterday they were both in the lobby as Isaac and I were on our way out. The neighbor that loves Isaac explained to the new neighbor, "You can pet him now but when she puts his saddle on him, you aren't allowed to touch him or talk to him or pet him or nothing."

For some reason, I was moved to sing the theme song from that old television show Mr. Ed to Isaac as we headed to the car.

He Knows Better

A couple weeks ago I was at the Medicaid office, standing at the window waiting for my gas voucher.  A family with a mom, a dad and a little boy about three or four came in and the little boy made a beeline for my service dog.  He ran right up to Isaac and was nose-to-nose with him, hugging his head, before I realized what was going on.

I was talking to the employee at the window about my gas voucher but I stopped whatever it was that I was saying, bent down to look the little boy in the eye, and began giving him my standard lecture for kids that pet or hug or otherwise touch Isaac without asking.  It's a lecture I've given maybe a dozen times since I've had him.  I've given my adult version of the lecture many more times.

The little kid version of the lecture goes something like this.  "It is not OK to pet a doggie you don't know without asking first.  It is never OK to touch a doggie you don't know without asking because you don't know if he is a nice doggie or not."  I don't get into the issue of distracting a service dog because the most important thing for little kids is not to touch any dog without asking.

So I give the little boy the lecture and his father, who is standing right there, says, "He knows that.  He knows better than to do that."

I was thinking, umm, yeah, apparently he doesn't.

A New Experience at the Grocery Store

I had a new, and somewhat disturbing, experience yesterday.  And I don't have new experiences at the grocery store too often anymore.

I was at the grocery store, doing the self checkout thing, when a little girl about five or so came over close to Isaac. She was looking at him and maybe going to ask to pet him (or maybe pet without asking, I don't know), when her father, who was at another self checkout thing, started yelling at her. "Get over here! Leave that dog alone! That dog is working, you can't pet him. You can't bother a working dog. Get over here right now! Don't make me come over there and get you!"

While I usually appreciate parents that tell their kids not to bother working dogs, I've never had a parent yell at their kid about it like this. I hate when parents yell at their kids. It's a trigger with my PTSD. And it seems so rude. Would they talk to anyone else that way? And if not, what makes them think it is OK to talk to their kids like that?

While I finished ringing out my stuff, I thought about it, and I wondered how the dad would respond if I yelled at his kid that way when she was looking at my dog. I would never do that, of course, but I bet he wouldn't like it if I did. So why does he think it's OK for him to talk to her that way?

They were just getting ready to leave when I was done paying, and I decided I needed to do something. I approached them, said "excuse me" and asked the dad if it would be OK if Isaac said hi to his little girl (as long as it was OK with the little girl, too, of course).

He said yes, so I asked her if she would like to say hi to Isaac. She did. She petted him really nicely and I told her his name.

I told her I'd noticed her looking at him earlier and told her it is OK to ask if she can pet a dog in a store, but that she always needs to ask before petting a dog she doesn't know. I also said sometimes the dog's person might say no, and then she should said "OK, thank you" and not bother the dog.

I asked her if she would like to give Isaac a treat and she said yes, so I gave her a treat from my pocket and told her to tell him to sit first, which she did, and Isaac sat right away, and she liked that.

I thanked the dad for telling her not to bother a working dog and told him that it's OK to ask someone to pet a SD as long as you realize the handler might say no and that's OK.

I felt pretty good about how I dealt with the whole situation, but I still hate when parents scream at their kids like that.

Yes, I Have a Service Dog Just So You can Pet Him

Today was the second time I've had someone tell me I shouldn't take my service dog in public if I'm not going to allow people to pet him. Does that mean someone should not take their wheelchair in public if they aren't going to allow strangers to take a ride in it?

Today at the Medicaid Office

Isaac and I spent a rather long and unpleasant hour at the Medicaid office today, getting a gas voucher.  In my county, they give gas vouchers to Medicaid patients for travel to medical appointments that are reimbursed by Medicaid.  There is a long list of rules and a bunch of hoops to jump through (like with most benefits for low income and disabled people) but the amount they give for gas vouchers is actually pretty good and helpful.  So I do it.

Today there was a long line and it was moving slow.  You don't actually have to stand in line, you take a number and then wait for your number to be called.  There are chairs, although there are often not enough chairs and people have to stand and wait.  There were several mothers there with very small children and it occurred to me how well-behaved the children often are that I see in places like this.  It is a very long wait and they are bored, as am I.  There are no books or toys in the welfare office waiting room for kids.  I think they are used to waiting for long periods of time in places like this - at the welfare office, at the food pantry, at the free clinic.  Sometimes I try to imagine a childhood like that and I can't.

Anyway, Isaac and I had been at a park earlier and he ran around a whole lot and he was content to lie down by my feet and go to sleep. 

A little girl about two came up and started to pet him, so I bent down and gave her my little speech about "It's not OK to touch a doggie you don't know without asking.  You always need to ask first."  I don't think she really understood me. 

Her mom came over then and led her away, chastising her.  I spoke to the mom and tried to explain that I was not upset with the child, but that I always want to explain to kids that they need to ask before petting a strange dog.  I don't think mom got it, either.

Another little boy was asking his mom if he could pet the dog and she told him he had to ask me.  So he asked and I said yes and thanked him for asking.  Then two other little boys came over and asked if they could pet him, too, and I said yes and thanked them for asking.

Later, the little girl came back and I asked her if she wanted to pet the doggie and of course I could tell that she did.  I asked her if she could ask me to pet him and then I realized her verbal language skills didn't seem to be too good.  She ended up  just pointing at Isaac and looking at me.  I understand she was asking permission to pet him, so I said she could and thanked her for asking.

She didn't know how to pet a dog nicely, though.  I had to keep reminding her to be gentle.  Poor Isaac, he was very patient with her, but she kept wanting to touch his toes, which he does not like, or to poke her fingers up his nose, which he also does not like, or to unzip the pocket on his vest, which I did not like.

I was getting really annoyed with her mother, who was not providing adequate supervision.  Mom should have been right there with her, helping her to pet the doggie gently and teaching her how to interact with a dog. 

On a brighter note, another mom asked me about how to get a service dog.  Her little girl is blind and mom said she doesn't need one now, she's too young, but she was wondering how you get a guide dog.  She wanted to know for when her daughter gets older.  She was under the impression it would be very expensive and I said oh no, not with guide dogs.  The main guide dog programs place dogs free of charge and even cover your travel expenses to go get your dog and be trained to use a guide dog.  I was glad to be able to let her know that and also glad she wasn't trying to get a service dog for her toddler but planning for the future.

I Want That Job

Yesterday while I was sitting in the waiting room of the periodontist, Isaac was stretched out on his side, sleeping soundly, looking very relaxed.  An older man and woman sat down across from us and the man looked at Isaac and read the patch on his vest out loud: "Please don't pet me, I'm working." 

I knew right away what he was thinking.  Isaac really looked like he was hard at work.

The man smiled and said, "Huh.  I want that job."

He's a Service Dog, Not a Petting Zoo

Today at Panera, as Isaac and I were making our way through the dining room, a man reached out to pet Isaac and started baby talking to him. Isaac turned his head to look at the man touching him and almost made me spill my plate of food, because I had my food in the same hand I had the leash in, because my drink was in my other hand. Normally that works out OK because Isaac heels pretty nicely. But he turned his head when someone started touching him as we walked by.

So I said "Please don't distract him, he's working." Which is my typical line when someone does that.

The first man's dining companion said, rather rudely, "Then you shouldn't bring him in here." Like my service dog is there for their enjoyment. Um, he's a service dog, not a petting zoo.

So I said, "He's a service dog so he's allowed in here."

The first man said "Who does he service?" Which was a weird way of asking the question, but I knew what he meant.

So I said, "He's my service dog."

And then the guy said, "Why? Do you have a problem?"

Um, yes. I have a big problem with rude strangers that distract my service dog. I didn't say that but I think maybe I should have.

Instead I just said "The Americans with Disabilities Act says he is allowed in here" and walked away.

I think this is the rudest interaction I've had with a member of the public regarding my service dog.

The Tail Is Not Even Wagging

Today at the library, I was looking at books while Isaac lay quietly at my feet.

All of a sudden, this woman near us gasped and said "I didn't even realize there was a dog there!"

And, now that she realized there was a dog, there, she began baby-talking to him. Isaac just lay there quietly, ignoring her.

Finally she said, "Well. The tail is not even wagging."

I sighed and said "That's because he is working. He's not supposed to socialize when he's working."

She said "Oh. Oh. well, I guess I will stop talking to him then."

Duh.

Our Recent Road Trip

I mentioned driving Whiskers to Chicago and then going to Michigan to visit a friend but didn't say much about the trip.  Actually I've been very busy lately so I haven't posted much at all.  But our road trip was good

Whiskers did  much better on the drive than I had expected.  We had to leave about 2:30 am, so the first several hours we were driving in the dark.  I got a mild sedative from the vet for Whiskers and it helped a lot.  She peed in her carrier about two hours into the trip, so I got her out, cleaned the carrier, cleaned her up as best I could, gave her another pill and let her stay out of the carrier for most of the rest of the drive.  She explored the van, then slept under the back seat for a couple hours, then curled up in my lap for most of the rest of the driver.  It was really sweet.  I was sad to give her up.

Isaac got to play with my friend's service dog Jake, when we dropped Whiskers off.  He had a great time and it was good for him to get some play time and exercise before the drive to Michigan, which ended up being a super long drive because the traffic and road construction was just awful.

We stopped at dinner time and took a nice walk, then ate our dinner together in the van.  Then we drove a few more hours before stopping for the night.  We slept in the van that night and I actually slept pretty well. 

We finally made it to the home of my friend in Michigan and it turned out Isaac had learned to behave nicely around cats from Whiskers.  She has a cat named Tigger and  Tigger is blind and I was worried that Isaac would scare him by being his enthusiastic self, but no.  Isaac was more interested in sniffing everything in the house than in pestering the cat.  I guess he got used to cats from Whiskers and is no longer so fascinated by them. 

I don't think Cayenne had the same effect because she mostly just slept on the couch or sat in the window, which was right next to the couch.  It was a big event if Cayenne walked across the living room, seriously.  That probably happened once a week or less, on average.  But after seeing Whiskers roam all over the house, Isaac is no longer fascinated and excited every time a kitty moves.

I noticed this last year when we went to Detroit and I noticed it again this time.  For some reason, people up there are much less likely to pet a service dog without asking than they are where I live.  In fact, not only did no one pet him without asking the whole time we were there, I don't think anyone asked if they could pet him, either.  By contrast, today alone I had two people pet without asking and two more ask to pet.

That's Not How It Works

Today at Panera, Isaac and I were sitting outside on the patio when a woman walked by and stopped to talk to him. Isaac stood up and wagged his tail, and then she saw his vest.

She then apologized to me, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize he was a working dog." Good so far, right?

But then she bent over so she could make eye contact with Isaac and proceeded to say, in a high-pitched, baby-talk voice, "I won't bother you since you're working. Oh no, I won't. I don't want to bother you when you're working, pretty baby. Oh no, I don't."

Um.... that's not how it works.

Really

Woman at Panera to her husband: Look, it's a guide dog.

Husband to Isaac: Hi there, fella! Look at those beautiful eyes!

Woman to her husband: I don't think you're supposed to bother them.

Husband: You're not supposed to touch them but you can talk to them.
 
Me: Actually you're not supposed to talk to them, either.

Man (looking confused): You're not?

Me: No. It distracts them when they are working.

Man: It does?

Me: Yes. Just like if you were at work and someone started talking to you and petting you.

Man: Petting I understand. But talking?

Me: Yes. It distracts them.

Man (looking doubtful): Really?

At the Library

Isaac continues to be a novelty at the library when I am tutoring there.  This week, when I went to use the restroom, a woman in there bent over to look more closely at him and then took a few steps after us, as if she was actually going to follow me into the stall.  I pretty much had to shut the door in her face.  How weird is that?

And when I was arranging my stuff on a table, a man that was tutoring a teenage kid at the nearest table (which was very close), started talking to the kid about my dog.  "That's a helper dog.  Or maybe it's a comfort dog.  It's some sort of service dog."

I was seriously considering turning to him and saying, "You know I can hear you, right?"

Then he started explaining to the kid, "You never, ever pet a service dog."

The kid asked, "Why?  Because it will bite?"

The man said, "No, it won't bite.  Because it's busy working."

Now, I have a really good explanation for kids that want to know why you shouldn't pet a service dog.  So I turned to them and said, "Because it distracts him when he is working.  Just like if I came over there and started petting you while you are trying to do your homework.  It would be hard to pay attention if I did that, wouldn't it?'

Kids always get that.  I've used the same explanation when telling employees of various businesses why they aren't supposed to pet service dogs.  "If I came over there and started petting you while you were trying to ring up my groceries, you'd have a hard time getting your job done, wouldn't you?"  I think they get it, too, but they often also look at me as if they are a bit worried I might hop over the counter and start molesting them.

Little Girl Under the Table

Today I was having dinner at Chipotle with a friend. Isaac was lying quietly under the table. At one point I glanced down and discovered a little girl about three or four had crawled under the table and was quietly cuddling and petting him.

I don't think she was there long but I didn't even notice her crawl under there! Apparently Isaac was happy to keep it a secret. He was being very calm and quiet, but looked quite pleased with the whole situation.

I did start giving her my lecture about "you should never pet a doggie without asking first" and only then did her mom come over and start telling her the same thing.

Overheard at the Grocery Store

A couple days ago, Isaac and I were in Meijer.  I was picking out salsa.  Two young men, probably in their mid-20's, walked past us.

Young man #1: Look at the beautiful dog.

Young man #2: That's a service dog.

Young man #1: I know.  You can't pet them.

Young man #2:  No, you can't.  You're not allowed.

Young man #1 (sighing): No matter how much you want to.

Hello Doggie!

Isaac and I were at Joann Fabrics today and these three-year-old twin girls (who were adorable, by the way) came running up to him, squealing "hello doggie! hello doggie!", grabbing him around the neck and patting him on the face. I bent down so I could make eye contact with them both and told them it's not safe to run up to a doggie they don't know and touch him because they don't know if the doggie might bite.

Their mom arrived 30 seconds behind them and said to me, "They are three." 

I said, "OK, well, it's not safe for three-year-olds to run up to a strange dog and start touching him. My dog doesn't bite. But the next dog they run up to might." 

This whole time, the kids are patting Isaac on the head, neck, face, nose, mouth, everywhere. Isaac, of course, is delighted because he loves kids. He is happily wagging his tail. But the mom just looked kind of confused, like she didn't understand why she shouldn't let her kids run up to a strange dog. 

What is wrong with some parents?