Dealing with Fatigue

I have been super tired lately.

Sunday Isaac and I went up to Lake Erie with friends and we decided to go early in the day because it would be less crowded.  We left our house at 7 am. 

We had a great time.  Isaac got to run on the beach, swim in the lake, play with some other doggies, play Frisbee with some guys on the beach, roll in a dead fish and sniff lots of stinky things.  He also got a hard boiled egg at lunch time, a piece of roast beef and a piece of bacon.  He says it was one of the best days ever.  I had fun, too.

Of course, we were both exhausted by the time we got home.  Isaac slept all the way  home and slept at home, except for getting up to eat dinner.  I lay on the couch until about 9 pm, then went to bed.

I was still exhausted Monday.  I was in bed before 9 pm Monday night.

And I was still exhausted yesterday.  I managed to drag myself out to take Isaac for a walk, but I was tired.  I did a few things around the house but not much and was in bed by 9 pm again.

I want some energy.  I am trying to rest, trying to pace myself, trying to get some stuff done while also taking it easy.  But I really wish I had more energy.

Fatigue. Big Time.

I have been exhausted a lot lately.  I mean, a lot more than usual.  Maybe it's just my fibro but my pain is reasonably controlled and I don't know why the fatigue would sudden get much, much worse.  I feel like maybe my iron is low, but I take a ton of iron so it shouldn't be.  But I think I need some blood work done.

I see my rheumatologist in a week and I was trying to wait until then to ask her if she thinks it's the fibro or something else.  But I decided today, once I finally pulled myself out of bed, that I need to go see my primary care doctor and get some labs ordered now.

Mind you, last night I went to sleep on the couch about 7:30 pm.  I got up about 11 pm, at something and talked to a friend on the phone for a bit, then was back to sleep by midnight.  Isaac work me up early in the morning and I took him out to pee and fed him, then went back to bed.  I didn't really get up until about 10 am.

Then I took Isaac for a 45 minute nap and now I feel like I really want to go back to sleep again.

This is beyond my normal level of fatigue.  And I hate it.

Only I can't get in touch with  my doctor's office.  I keep calling and getting voice mail telling me what their office hours are and to call back then.  Only I am calling during those office hours.  I hate when businesses do that.  They need to answer the phone.

Oh. That's Why I'm So Tired. Duh.

I saw my rheumatologist Friday and she increased my gabapentin to 300 mg twice a day.  I'd been on 200 mg twice a day.  We discussed it and decided to increase it because I think the pain is going to get worse with the cold weather.  Actually, it has already started getting worse.  It's still quite tolerable, quite manageable, but I remember how horrible and nearly unbearable it was last winter.  So, hoping to head that off, we decided to try increasing the gabapentin.

I think I forgot to mention the med increase when I posted about the visit because I was too busy talking about how I dealt with the issue of her being scared of my service dog.

And today, I was struggling with this overwhelming fatigue and thinking it was just part of the fibromyalgia, which, you know, it is a symptom of that, but then suddenly as I was lying on the couch, too tired to sit up, it occurred to me.  Maybe fatigue is a side effect of gabapentin.  I couldn't remember if it was or not, though, and I was too tired to sit up and reach for my laptop and Google it.  A couple hours later, after Isaac convinced me to get up and take him out to pee, I did look it up and sure enough, it's a very common side effect. 

Did it make me this tired when I first started taking it?  Or when she increased it from 100 mg to 200 mg?  I can't remember.

She prescribed the higher dose Friday but I didn't actually start taking it until last night, after I picked it up at the pharmacy and put the new pills in my medi-set.  So I guess that explains why I am so exhausted.  And hopefully in a couple days I will adjust to the increase and this fatigue will pass.

Fatigue Is Not a Character Flaw

Said a good friend to me a while back.  And I keep reminding myself of that on days like today, when I am exhausted and all I want to do is sleep.

I actually went to bed relatively early last night.  And slept OK, I think.  I had some weird dream and being in a house that was flooding.  It wasn't a scary dream, though.  It was like, oh, there are a few feet of water in the house.  Oh well.  Which was weird, for sure.  But no nightmares or anything like that.

I forget what time Isaac woke me up.  I think it was around 7:00 am.  I took him out, fed him and went right back to sleep.  And slept, or dozed, until about 11:00 am.  And I only got up then because the maintenance guy showed up to fix my shower.

I took Isaac for a walk.  A slight shorter walk than usual, because I felt so tired.  My limbs felt heavy.  We came back home and he needed a bath because he'd had a swim in the pond on our walk.  So I gave him a bath.

Now I'm back on the couch.  I wish I had more energy.  It's hard not to be frustrated, hard not to be upset with myself.  It's a beautiful day outside and I'd love to have the energy to be out there.  There are so many things that need done around the house and I'd love to have the energy to do them.

And I don't.  I'm tired.

Coping with Fatigue

Lately, I've seemed to have a bit more energy than usual.  And I've been enjoying it.  A lot.  I figure it must be a combination of sleeping better with my red lights, the increase in both my Cymbalta and gabapentin, and maybe getting more exercise since Isaac and I have been going for long walks every day.  My energy level has still been lower than what most other people seem to experience, but it's been an improvement for me, and I've been enjoying it.

Today, I crashed.

I guess that's not surprising.  It's just disappointing.  And frustrating.

Isaac woke me at 7:00 am and I took him out.  I fed him.  And I went back to bed.  I was exhausted still.

I woke up again at 10:30.  Took Isaac out again.  Summoned up all my strength and made myself a protein shake.  Sat on the couch for a little while.  Summoned up all my strength and coaxed Cayenne out from under the couch, where she's been spending most of her time the last two days (I think she is feeling unwell and I am worried about her), and gave her some stinky turkey baby food and her medication.  And went back to bed.

Got up again about 1:30.  Took Isaac out, ate a protein bar, called the pharmacy to refill a prescription.  Thought about doing some laundry.  Decided against it.  Went back to bed.

And that's how the day went.  Sleep a couple hours, wake up, take the dog out, eat something if I could find the energy.  Sit on the couch, struggling to stay awake for a bit.  Give up and go back to sleep.  Repeat.

All I've accomplished today, besides taking Isaac out to pee and feeding myself occasionally, is coaxing Cayenne out to feed and medicate her, calling in a script, and proofreading and submitting an article I finished writing yesterday.  That's it.  And now it's 9:30 pm and I'm exhausted.

I'm trying not to be too frustrated.  I'm so tired, it's hard to have strong emotions about anything.  Everything feels blunted, dull. 

I feel a bit guilty about paying so little attention to Isaac.  Oh, in addition to taking him out, I did play one round of Find the Hotdogs with him.  But still.  It was rainy this morning but nice this afternoon and evening, and he would have loved a walk.  Every time I woke up, he jumped to her feet, looking at me with hopeful eyes.  But I did not have the energy.  Yesterday morning, he went for a 60-minute run and yesterday afternoon, I took him to the lake to swim.  So he got lots of activity yesterday.  And he gets to go for a run tomorrow morning.  One boring, sleepy day won't hurt him.  But I still feel a bit bad.

I have a lot to do tomorrow.  Isaac and I are volunteering at the nursing home.  I have to get my neighbor and his son to carry my old couch out to the dumpster, because my new couch is coming Tuesday.  That means I'll need to move some stuff around, like my coffee table and end table, and I'll need to vacuum where the couch was.  I need to go pick up the prescription I called in today.  Those are all things that really need to be done and I really want to do, so if I need to rest today so I can do those things tomorrow, then that's what needs to happen.  It's what's best.

But I hate it.  I feel disappointed in myself and frustrated and... and exhausted.  Time to go back to bed, I guess.

Pacing Myself and Coping with Fatigue

I ended up passing on Drag Queen Bingo.  As much fun as it sounded, and it really did sound fun, I was tired.  I was physically tired and also mentally tired, and I just thought it would be better for me to go back to my hotel and rest.  I’m really trying to pace myself.  With the lack of sleep Friday night and the pain in my hips during the night, I decided I better not push myself too far Saturday.

I guess I made the right choice.  I was asleep by 9:00 pm Saturday night.  Of course, then I woke up about 1:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  Isaac and I ended up checking out of the hotel in the middle of the night and driving home.  I really wanted to be home.

We got home just as dawn was breaking and Isaac seemed glad to be back, too.  He also seemed tired.  We both snoozed most of the day Sunday.  

Cayenne seemed glad to see me and not so glad to see Isaac.  He was delighted to see her, though.  I noticed she has now pulled out about half of her staples.  Apparently that’s what she spent most of her time doing while Isaac and I were away – pulling out staples.  Bad kitty.

I am trying hard not to feel frustrated at my fatigue and lack of stamina.  Everyone else had enough energy to go to Drag Queen Bingo.  And it really did sound like fun and I wanted to go but I just didn’t have the energy.  I’m trying not to feel too sad about that.  I had a nice trip, I had fun, I got to spend time with friends, Isaac enjoyed himself and behaved beautifully.  I want to feel good about it, not sad.  But I wanted to do more, I wanted to have more fun.

And I am frustrated at feeling so tired still.  I slept nearly all day yesterday!  I should have more energy by now.

Fatigue

Fatigue is a common symptom of fibromyalgia.  You know, though, I think anyone would be tired if pain kept them awake night after night after night.

It's hard to find the words to explain how exhausted I am.  It's the kind of exhaustion you feel when you have the flu.  Simply taking a shower and getting dressed completely wears me out.  By the time I'm dressed, I feel like I need a nap.

I have no energy for cooking.  I have a protein shake most days for breakfast and for dinner.  I used to have one most days for breakfast, but now I have one for dinner, too, because I have enough energy to pour milk into a glass, add a scoop of protein powder and shake it up.  That's supposing I have enough energy to go to the store and buy milk.  Buying milk takes a lot of energy because it's heavy.  But that is my breakfast and my dinner. 

Some days I make soup for lunch but other days I don't have the energy to stand at the stove stirring it long enough to heat it up, so then I might have a protein shake for lunch, too.  For snacks I eat protein bars, yogurt, an occasional English muffin, and sliced apples with almond butter when I have enough energy to cut one up.  I used to make my own yogurt, but I don't have enough energy to do that anymore, so I buy ready-to-eat single serving containers.

I washed my sheets a week ago but haven't had the energy to put them on my bed yet.  There is a pile of clothes at the end of my bed that I haven't had the energy to put away.  Isaac is enjoying sleeping in them.  I just don't have the energy for those things.  It's all I can do to keep myself, Isaac and Cayenne fed and take Isaac out.