The Surface Area of a Service Dog

I was trying to think of a fun activity for this kid I am tutoring in seventh grade math.  We needed to work on some geometry, particularly surface area, but beyond that, I wanted to come up with something that would really make him think.  He is a bright kid and is quite capable of thinking, but prefers to avoid it as much as possible, at least when it comes to math.  He does not enjoy math, and I don't blame him, I don't enjoy it, either.  But I needed an activity that would engage him.

Also, he doesn't like to "show his work."  Which means, he doesn't want to write down his work, he prefers to solve math problems in his head rather than on paper.  Which would be fine with me, if he was good at it.  But he is not.  Plus, middle school math teachers typically want kids to show their work.  So I needed an activity that would require writing his work down.

And he rushes through his work, because he doesn't enjoy it and wants to get it over with fast.  Only then he  makes mistakes.  I have tried to point out that when he rushes and then makes a lot of mistakes and fails a test and has to retake it, that really backfires because instead of getting it over with fast, it ends up taking a lot longer.  And if he fails math for the year and has to take the whole class over again next year, that will really make it take a lot longer.  And since he doesn't enjoy it, it would really suck to have to do it all over again next year.  He agreed I had a point there.  But still tends to rush through his work in a disorganized way.

Last week I took a bunch of circles (round lids, to be precise) and had him measure them and calculate the circumference and area of each one.  I wanted to do something more interesting today.

So I came up with the idea of having him measure Isaac and calculate the surface area of my service dog.  It turned out to be the best tutoring activity idea I have ever had.

The kid looked at me like I was nuts when I first suggested it.  I shrugged and told him it was that or do some worksheets I'd brought.  He opted to measure the dog.

And then he got really into it.  He started sketching a diagram of Isaac, composed of shapes, without me suggesting it (although I was going to suggest starting that way, he just beat me to it).  And he was way more detailed than I would have been. 

We were on the floor beside Isaac, measuring each part of his body.  Well, mostly the kid measured.  My job was mostly telling Isaac when to stand up and when to sit back down, however the kid wanted him positioned to get the best measurements.  And he carefully wrote down each measurement.

Then, again without my suggesting it, the kid made a chart on which to record each of the calculations.  He had a space for the area of Isaac's ear, a space for the area of his knee joint, a space for the area of the tip of his tail.  He was being wonderfully organized.  I was amazed and impressed and kept telling him how awesome he was doing.

I told him I was going to email his teacher and tell her what we did and what a great job he did.  He asked me to take a picture of his sketch with all the measurements and his chart and everything to send to the teacher.  So I did.

I had to tell him twice when our session was over.  He was still working.  He was impressed with himself, I think.  And he should be.  He did great.

We did not have time to finish all the calculations, so he is going to finish them over the course of the week.  Next week when we get together, he will tell me the surface area of my service dog.

How neat is that?

Taking My Service Dog to Work

Most of the time, I work from home.  I work as a freelance writer, but I also do tutoring occasionally and sometimes other small jobs that require working somewhere besides my home.  With my last tutoring job, I was tutoring in the student's home and she would have been very distracted by my dog.  When the weather was nice enough, I took him with me but he stayed in the car.  With my current tutoring job, though, I am tutoring at a public library and I have been taking Isaac with me.

I wrote about it a few days ago and posted a picture of Isaac doing a lovely down stay while I worked.

The student I am currently tutoring is 13 years old.  Kids that age often feel pretty self-conscious and I wondered if he would be uncomfortable with my service dog there.  I wondered if people noticing Isaac and sometimes staring or approaching me to say something to me about Isaac or to talk to Isaac would make him uncomfortable or if he might feel embarrassed or something.  He doesn't seem to, though.  If it was making him really uncomfortable, I would leave Isaac at home.

Once Isaac is doing a down stay under the table where we are working, I guess he doesn't really attract much attention.  Often people don't even notice him under there.  It's more when I am arriving at the library or when I am on my way out, that's when people notice him and there is staring or pointing or comments.  And I think once I've been tutoring there a while, people will get used to seeing us and pay less attention.

And it's not like Isaac is attracting more attention there than he does anywhere else.  It's that I am used to it and it (mostly) doesn't bother me, but the kid I am tutoring isn't used to it and I thought it might bother him.  Although people aren't looking at him.  They are mostly looking at Isaac, and maybe at me, but mostly just at Isaac.

Working Dog at the Library

I recently got a new tutoring job.  Tutoring math, no less.  Which I had said I was never going to do again.  Unless it was maybe first grade level math.

But the brother-in-law of the mom of the kid I tutored over the winter, the kid that was here from another state with his mom who was undergoing medical treatment at the university hospital near here, the kid I tutored in all his subjects for six weeks... that kid's uncle called me.  His son, the cousin of the kid I had had tutored over the winter, needed help in math.  And his sister-in-law had given him my number and told him that I was the best tutor ever and that he must call me.

So I agreed to work with his kid.  Who is in 7th grade.  And is learning geometry at the moment.  Like how to calculate the volume of some weird-shaped container.  I can calculate the area and perimeter of basic shapes.  But the volume of some weird-shaped container?  Ugh.  I don't know if this is better than algebra or not.

The kid does not like to write his work down.  He wants to solve these problems in his head.  Which he is no good at.  Which I pointed out to him.

But anyway.  Here is a picture of Isaac doing a lovely down stay at the library yesterday for about 90 minutes.  Because the dad decided to talk my ear off after the tutoring session was over.  I was very happy Isaac did so well.  He only got up once, while dad was talking and talking, and suggested perhaps dad should pet him while he talked.  But he lay back down when I told him to.

The kid I am tutoring is really good about ignoring Isaac.  I kind of wondered if he didn't like dogs but dad told me they have a dog at home.  I think he just knows he's not supposed to bother the working dog, plus he is pretty focused on his math.  Which is a good thing.

Awesome Tutoring Job Opportunity

Next Monday, I have an interview for a tutoring job.  The student is an eight-year-old girl who probably has learning disabilities (she hasn't been tested, the school doesn't want to test her for some reason but mom suspects she might have dyslexia or something like that and from mom said, it sounds like she probably does) and the mom is a licensed massage therapist who wants to barter massage therapy for tutoring services for her daughter. 

How awesome is that?  I'm so excited.  That would be just perfect for me.  In exchange for twice-weekly tutoring sessions, which would not be hard for me and would actually be enjoyable because I like working with kids, I would get a weekly massage therapy session.

I've seen a massage therapist a couple times in the last, I don't know, four or five months.  Just twice.  I'd hoped I could go once a month but I just haven't been able to afford it.  Of course, my insurance won't pay for it.  But it really helps with my fibromyalgia.  I am concerned that as the weather turns colder, my pain is going to get worse again, and I think that regular massage would really help.  This would be such an excellent opportunity for me.

Hopefully the interview goes well.  I think it will.

And, Just Like That, My Tutoring Job Has Ended

TK is going to be transferring to an alternative school, where he should be getting extra help.  Dad doesn't think he'll need to continue with tutoring at this point, though he might in the future, and dad says he will be calling me if they decide he needs a tutor again.

I feel disappointed.  I'm glad TK is going to be going to the alternative school because I don't think he was going to be able to catch up at his regular school, and also I don't think tutoring was going to be enough help for him, especially since his parents seemed unable or unwilling to get him to tutoring on time and all the other goofy stuff dad was doing.  So I'm glad for the kid but I'm disappointed for me.

Also, I can't help feeling a little like maybe I wasn't doing a good enough job.  I don't think that was the case.  Dad told me that if I need a reference for other tutoring jobs, to please feel free to give people his number.  I don't think it's about me.  But, blah, sometimes the depression says it is.  And I was feeling kind of depressed today, anyway.

Sometimes It's the Parents

This kind of fits in with my earlier post about blame.

When I was a social worker, running an anger management program for teens, I frequently found the parents were as trouble as, or sometimes more troubled than, the teenagers.

One of my job duties was doing intakes on kids referred to the program.  I met with the kid and at least one parent or guardian and gathered information about why they had been referred to the program and determined whether or not they were suitable participants for our program.  Kids with serious mental illness or serious substance abuse programs, for instance, needed more intense treatment than what we provided and they were referred to appropriate services instead of enrolled in our program.

On more than one occasion, I met with teens that behaved fairly appropriately during the intake and that apologized to me for the inappropriate behavior of their parents.  I remember one telephone call in which an angry mother, upon being informed she was expected to attend the program with her child, shouted at me, "I don't need no anger management," along with some profanities.  She called me back a little while later after her coworkers - apparently she had made that call from work and her coworkers could not help but overhear her cursing and shouting about how she didn't need no anger management - suggested that perhaps she could use a little anger management after all and told her that she should call me back to apologize.  I was impressed that she actually listened to them and did call to apologize.

In the time that I worked at that job, I had the opportunity to facilitate anger management group sessions for teenage boys, teenage girls, and parents.  The boys were the easiest.  Teenage girls were more challenging, but the parents were the most difficult.  I liked the parents group that I led for more than a year, but it was very, very challenging.

Often, it was quite obvious why the kids had anger management problems.  It would have been surprising if they hadn't.

Well, today was my third tutoring session with TK.

The first day we met, dad brought him to the session.  We meet at the public library.  They arrived about five minutes late.  No big deal.  I had asked dad, four days earlier, to take TK to an office supply store to buy a daily planner in which to keep track of his assignments, prior to our first session.  I explained that I wanted TK to pick out the planner.  Dad agreed to do this.  However, he "forgot" to do it and so TK showed up without a planner.  Dad assured me he would do it before our next session two days later.

Two days later, TK's mother brought him to the session.  They were 20 minutes late.  Mom apologized to me several times and said she'd "forgotten" she was supposed to bring him to tutoring.  Dad still had not gotten him the planner.

Today, dad sent me a text message at 2:59.  Tutoring is supposed to be from 3:00 to 4:00.  The text read, "We're on today for 4, right?"

As soon as I read that, I threw up my hands and said, "Good grief, it's not the kid, it's dad!"

I didn't think for a minute that dad really thought tutoring was supposed to be at 4:00.  He's the one that picked the time in the first place.  And he got the kid there almost on time, at 3:00, the week before.  He knew what time he was supposed to be there.

I texted him back, "I thought it was 3 but we can make it 4 if that works better for you."

He then texted me back, "No, we'll be there in a few minutes."

So TK arrived about five minutes later, but dad did not come in with him.  He still did not have a planner.  He also "forgot" to bring any of his school stuff other than his geometry stuff.

At this point, I do not blame TK a bit for "forgetting" his other school stuff.  If dad is forgetful and disorganized, which he certainly seems to be, how would TK have learned to be organized?  Organizational skills are just that - skills.  You have to learn them from somewhere.  You aren't born with them.  And it seems unlikely he's had the opportunity to learn them from dad.

I'm very skeptical that dad is really as forgetful as he seems to want me to think he is.  Maybe he's just not prioritizing his kid's tutoring, but if that's the case, why hire a tutor (and pay a tutor $60 a week) in the first place?  I think he's being passive-aggressive or sabotaging his kid or something, although I don't know why.  But if dad, and mom, are behaving like tutoring isn't important enough to be on time for or to be prepared for with the proper supplies, like a planner, why would the kid think it was important to be prepared and bring the proper supplies, like textbooks? 

On my way home, I stopped by an office supply store and bought TK a planner.  I'd have preferred dad to do it, and I'd have preferred that TK got the opportunity to pick it out, but I want him to have it and that's the most important thing.

I'm going to have to think about how to deal with dad. 

How Was My First Day Tutoring?

How was my first day tutoring, you ask?  Well, I'm so glad you asked.  It was great.

The kid I'm tutoring, I'll call him TK, is 15.  He's very likeable.  He's articulate, seems pretty bright, and at times even seemed insightful.  Now, I won't fault a teenager for lack of insight.  Teens are often pretty un-insightful.  It's actually pretty developmentally appropriate for teens, although it can certainly drive parents and educators crazy at times.

However, at one point I asked him how he gets along with his teachers and he told me, "I try to be really respectful to my teachers all the time.  If you're respectful, they sometimes go a little easier on you or give you a little extra help.  If you're disrespectful, they don't do that."  Now, that is pretty insightful for a teenager.  When I was a social worker, I spent I-don't-even-know-how-many anger management sessions trying to explain that concept to teens that were in trouble for things like beating up their teachers and threatening to blow up their schools.

Then at one point he was telling me that sometimes he doesn't feel very motivated to do his schoolwork and I asked him why he thought that was.  He said he wasn't sure.  He told me that his dad thinks it's because when he was in middle school, some of his teachers graded him unfairly and that his dad thinks that made him not feel like trying anymore.  That is what his dad told me when I met with him.  TK said he's not sure if that's really the reason, though.  It might be but he isn't sure.  I thought that was kind of... well, maybe insightful isn't the right word.  But it was interesting that he is aware of what his dad thinks is the problem and that he's considered it carefully and hasn't just grabbed onto it as an excuse.

I asked him a bunch of questions and he seemed to be answering honestly and thoughtfully.  A couple times he seemed surprised by a question and said, "I need to think about that for a minute."  And then he thought for a minute and then tried to answer as clearly as he could.  A couple times he gave rather vague answers and then asked, "Do you want me to be more specific?"  In which case I said, "If you can be more specific, that would be good."  And then he would elaborate on his answer.  I think he's pretty articulate.  He seems able to express himself pretty easily.

I asked him if he thought his teachers like him and he said yes, he knows they do.  Now, dad thinks the teachers dislike the kid.  I did not tell him dad told me that.  But I found it very interesting that dad thinks that and that TK thinks the opposite.  What I'm thinking is that the teachers don't dislike TK, the teachers dislike the dad.  It's possible TK just can't tell that they don't like him, but he doesn't seem socially inept in that way.  I think he'd know.  Now, it's also possible that the teachers don't like him and he knows it but just didn't want to admit it to me.  He might feel embarrassed about it.  But he seemed pretty comfortable telling me how his grades are really poor and other stuff that he might feel embarrassed about, so I think he was probably being honest about the teachers liking him.

All I did today was talk to him and ask a bunch of questions.  I wanted to get to know him and to establish a rapport and to let him know what he can expect from me.  Like, he can expect me to treat him like an intelligent being, he can expect me to care about his thoughts and opinions, he can expect me to be respectful towards him, he can expect me to support him in his goals, etc.  I feel like that went very well.

Together we were able to identify a couple of things that might be helpful.  I noticed him fidgeting a lot and asked if he felt he could focus better when he was moving and he said yes, definitely.  I mentioned that some people find it helpful to have one of those stress balls to squeeze while they work and he really liked that idea.  So tomorrow I am going to go find a stress ball for him.  Hopefully Walmart has them. 

I also told him that I'd read an article recently that was written for adults with ADHD and that it suggested sitting on one of those exercise balls while you work.  I wasn't sure what a teenager would think of that.  I thought he might think that seemed too silly or weird.  But he actually thought it sounded like fun.  I've been thinking of buying one for myself, to help strengthen my back muscles.  Maybe I'll go ahead and get one and then take it with me to tutoring one day and let him try it out and see if he likes it.

I had a good day and I'm looking forward to continuing to work with him.

Starting my Very Part Time Job Today

A few days ago I wrote about taking service dogs on job interviews.  I ended up not taking Isaac to my interview, but I got the job and I start today.  I will be tutoring a teenager that maybe has ADHD and/or some sort of learning disabilities.  I will be doing one hour tutoring sessions twice a week.

Working two hours a week is a very, very part time job.  Which is why I think I can do it.  I have to be there at 3 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which means I don't have to get up early for it and I have a day off to rest and/or get other stuff done in between.  I'll be working sitting down and will not be doing anything physically strenuous.  I should be able to do it.

It has been almost 11 years since I had any kind of a normal job.  I'm not sure tutoring two hours a week counts as a normal job, but it's more of a normal job than freelance writing.  I have to be there at a certain time, I have to interact with other people, I can't decide to just take a nap instead because I'm tired or don't feel well.  I can't do it from my living room couch wearing my pajamas.

I think I'm going to enjoy it.  I don't think it will be too difficult for me.  I know working with teenagers is challenging, but I used to be a social worker and I ran an anger management program for teenagers.  If I could get juvenile delinquents to show up for and participate in anger management groups, I think I can get one teenager to do some homework.  I know how to get reluctant teens to engage.

I'm looking forward to it.  I hope it goes well.  The money will definitely be nice, but even more than that, I'm just looking forward to doing something with some meaning.