I came by some extra cash recently. It's kind of an interesting story, maybe I'll tell it later, but for now, how I came by it isn't really important. I have some extra money, which is a real rarity for me, and had to decide what to do with it.
Funny how you can think your basic needs are pretty much met, and then you get some extra cash, and suddenly you come up with a really long list of things you want/need to buy. Way more than you can possible purchase with whatever amount of money you have. And it wouldn't matter how much you have, either. If it was $1,000, suddenly you'd have a list of far more than that. If it was $5,000, you'd have a list of more than that. People are greedy, I think. We always want more. I try really hard not to, but still...
Anyway. After I'd discarded the ideas of going on a shopping spree and taking a vacation (well, it's fun to dream, isn't it?), I decided to purchase a few items I really do need and to pay off some debt. I was nearly debt-free until last fall when I had to have extensive dental work done. I now have a Mastercard and a Care Credit account to pay off. Last month I paid a little more than the minimum payment due on my Mastercard and realized that about half of what I paid was just going to interest. Oy.
But I also owe my mother some money. A couple years ago, when she was still speaking to me, she loaned me and Mike some money to put a new transmission in my car. She put it on a credit card (because my credit sucked then, at least it's a little better now; back then I would not have been able to charge my dental work myself) and Mike and I agreed to make the monthly payment. Which was just $30 a month. Well, you know how many months it takes to pay off a transmission at $30 a month? Yeah.
So as of this month, I still owed a little over $400.
I decide to use some of my new-found cash to pay off that debt. It might have made more sense, financially, to pay off the credit card with the ridiculously high interest rate. But emotionally, even spiritually, it made more sense to pay off the loan from my mother. Because it keeps me tied to her. It keeps me connected to her every month when I write that check and address that envelope.
And I knew it was the right decision because I felt such a lightness when I came to it.
I thought about writing her a letter to include with that check. But I didn't know what to say and I felt like writing that letter would take a lot of time and energy and I wanted to do it now. I wanted to send the check and sever that tie.
But there was a song that came to mind while I was writing out the check, so I wrote down some of the lyrics and sent that with the check.
"
You cannot measure what it takes to mend a withered heart.
They'll tell you at the onset everybody does their part.
I did my best to follow the calling of my soul.
But it's like that first guitar I played,
at the center is a hole,
at the center is a longing
that I cannot understand...
But if music be a boulder, let me carry it a long while.
Let it turn into a feather, let it brush against my smile.
Let the life be somewhat settled with the life that song has made.
Let there be nothing I am longing for in some plan I may have made,
in some story quickly written during a long forgotten time..."
I don't know if the lyrics will mean anything to my mother. But it doesn't really matter. I've let go of something. That's what's important.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Service Dogs in Schools
I read an article today about a family that is upset because they got a service dog for their six-year-old little boy and they want the school to provide someone to care for the service dog while their child is at school and the school has refused to do that because, they say, it's not their responsibility to care for a child's service dog.
This is becoming more and more of an issue these days, as there are now a number of organizations that place service dogs (or untrained puppies, in the case of one organization that sells "diabetic alert dogs" to families of diabetic children for $20,000) with young children that are not able to steward a service dog themselves. In the past, when service dogs were primarily used to help blind people, this wasn't an issue because the programs that train and place guide dogs for the blind won't place dogs with children under the age of 16. They require that all recipients be old enough and mature enough to care for their own dogs and also require that they complete orientation and mobility training first, which means they have to learn coping skills to allow them to cope with their disability before receiving a service dog.
That makes good sense. But there are some organizations now that provide service dogs (or untrained puppies, as mentioned above) with small children, some of whom are also severely disabled, that cannot possible care for a dog themselves. The children also have not yet learned to manage their disabilities as well as they can without a dog. I don't think it's a good idea to place service dogs with children in these cases, but there is big money in it. As I said, one organization sells puppies for $20,000, telling parents the puppies will alert to changes in their children's blood sugar and that the parents can later have the dogs trained to actually do tasks, like bring the child a juice box if their blood sugar drops. Parents, desperate for any help for a seriously ill child, shell out the $20,000. Some of them are now suing said organization for selling them untrained puppies instead of service dogs, but what did they really expect when they were told they were getting an eight-week-old puppy?
Anyway. I think that's why these organizations do it, because they make a lot of money, not because they care about the kids or the dogs.
But then the parents want these dogs to go to school with their kids and they want the school to provide a handler for the dog. Which is not required under state or federal law and which, in my opinion, is not reasonable.
In this particular article, it seems the parents did not bother to work all that out with the school before getting the service dog. The dog, according to the article, was not very well trained and the school actually paid for additional training for the dog, which I think is remarkable and which I also think was not the school's responsibility.
The parents seem to lack understand of what it means to care for a service dog. The article mentioned a younger sibling pulling the dog's tail and trying to ride her like a horse, and apparently the six-year-old is unable to protect his dog from that sort of behavior, and apparently the parents don't correct the toddler in a timely manner. I feel sorry for the dog.
The parents are also quoted as saying the only assistance with the dog that the six-year-old needs is someone to hold the dog's leash in the hallways between classes. Um, handling a service dog involves more than that. The dog would need at least one potty break during the school day, and if the six-year-old is unable to hold the dog's leash, then he must also be unable to take the dog outside and pick up its poop. So which school employee is supposed to be responsible for that? The dog would need access to water at some point during the school day, probably more than once. And no matter how well the dog is trained, there will be times it will not want to lie under the kid's desk, times it will get distracted, times it will need to be given commands and corrected and stuff.
I really don't think six-year-old kids should have service dogs at all, but if they do, then it's not the school's job to care for the dog.
This is becoming more and more of an issue these days, as there are now a number of organizations that place service dogs (or untrained puppies, in the case of one organization that sells "diabetic alert dogs" to families of diabetic children for $20,000) with young children that are not able to steward a service dog themselves. In the past, when service dogs were primarily used to help blind people, this wasn't an issue because the programs that train and place guide dogs for the blind won't place dogs with children under the age of 16. They require that all recipients be old enough and mature enough to care for their own dogs and also require that they complete orientation and mobility training first, which means they have to learn coping skills to allow them to cope with their disability before receiving a service dog.
That makes good sense. But there are some organizations now that provide service dogs (or untrained puppies, as mentioned above) with small children, some of whom are also severely disabled, that cannot possible care for a dog themselves. The children also have not yet learned to manage their disabilities as well as they can without a dog. I don't think it's a good idea to place service dogs with children in these cases, but there is big money in it. As I said, one organization sells puppies for $20,000, telling parents the puppies will alert to changes in their children's blood sugar and that the parents can later have the dogs trained to actually do tasks, like bring the child a juice box if their blood sugar drops. Parents, desperate for any help for a seriously ill child, shell out the $20,000. Some of them are now suing said organization for selling them untrained puppies instead of service dogs, but what did they really expect when they were told they were getting an eight-week-old puppy?
Anyway. I think that's why these organizations do it, because they make a lot of money, not because they care about the kids or the dogs.
But then the parents want these dogs to go to school with their kids and they want the school to provide a handler for the dog. Which is not required under state or federal law and which, in my opinion, is not reasonable.
In this particular article, it seems the parents did not bother to work all that out with the school before getting the service dog. The dog, according to the article, was not very well trained and the school actually paid for additional training for the dog, which I think is remarkable and which I also think was not the school's responsibility.
The parents seem to lack understand of what it means to care for a service dog. The article mentioned a younger sibling pulling the dog's tail and trying to ride her like a horse, and apparently the six-year-old is unable to protect his dog from that sort of behavior, and apparently the parents don't correct the toddler in a timely manner. I feel sorry for the dog.
The parents are also quoted as saying the only assistance with the dog that the six-year-old needs is someone to hold the dog's leash in the hallways between classes. Um, handling a service dog involves more than that. The dog would need at least one potty break during the school day, and if the six-year-old is unable to hold the dog's leash, then he must also be unable to take the dog outside and pick up its poop. So which school employee is supposed to be responsible for that? The dog would need access to water at some point during the school day, probably more than once. And no matter how well the dog is trained, there will be times it will not want to lie under the kid's desk, times it will get distracted, times it will need to be given commands and corrected and stuff.
I really don't think six-year-old kids should have service dogs at all, but if they do, then it's not the school's job to care for the dog.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Updates on This and That
Just little bits and pieces of stuff here:
- I've decided I like my hair cut. It is easier to wash and brush this way, which is mostly why I like it. Oddly enough, only one person has mentioned the hair cut to me. I've seen Mike a couple times since I got it cut and he apparently didn't even notice. Only one of my neighbors mentioned it. I was expecting people to ask me about it, why I cut it, etc. I got a lot cut off. I don't see how they haven't noticed. But apparently people just don't pay much attention. Which is OK. I didn't really want to to explain why I got it cut, anyway.
- One of Cayenne's tumors is bleeding again. Her belly was looking so nice. Then today, I was out for a while, and when I came home I noticed a large spot of dried blood on her blankie on the couch. There was also some blood smeared on the windowsill by her food and water dishes. That's not unexpected, but still, I hated to see it.
- I think the red lights are actually helping at night. I feel like I've slept better the last two nights. The first night, I was kind of anxious because they didn't provide quite as much light as I would have liked. I also really don't like the color red that much so I wasn't thrilled with them at first. But I think they are helping some, which makes me like them a little more.
- I also think the warmer weather is helping. I knew the cold makes my joints ache. I just didn't realize how much. But now that it's warming up some, I feel a lot better. I still have pain, but it's better.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Red Lights and Melatonin and Sleep and Stuff
I recently was reading a book about fibromyalgia and in it, the author was talking about sleep and melatonin and how light affects the production of melatonin. You've probably heard of melatonin. It's a hormone naturally produced by the body, though you can also buy it as a dietary supplement. The supplement is supposed to help you sleep and to help with jet lag or to help people that work odd shifts by helping to re-adjust your body clock.
Well, apparently during the daytime, during daylight hours, your body produces almost no melatonin. Once the sun starts going down and it begins to get dark out, your body starts making a lot more melatonin and this makes you get sleepy. However, indoor lighting can affect the production of melatonin, so if you keep the lights bright inside even after dark, you won't get tired. Or maybe you will get tired, but you'll have trouble sleeping.
According to the book I was reading, even a small amount of light can interfere with the production of melatonin, so it's important to sleep in a dark room. Even the light from a computer or television set can interfere with a good night's sleep, because it interferes with melatonin production.
Well, I have heard that you're not supposed to watch television or use your laptop in bed. That's all part of what's called "sleep hygiene," along with stuff like going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, sleeping in a dark, cool, quiet, comfortable room, not doing anything other than sleeping or having sex in your bed (I'm not sure why they always make an exception for sex, maybe just because some people are so... conservative that the idea of having sex anywhere but the bed might shock them?), etc. But I'd never heard that it had anything to do with melatonin production.
And I pretty much ignore the whole "sleep hygiene" thing because when I try getting up at the same time every day, even if I haven't slept at night, all that does is cause me to be exhausted. It doesn't help me sleep the next night. I know from experience. I don't sleep in a dark room because I can't, because I'm scared to go to sleep in a dark room due to my PTSD. For the same reason, I have trouble sleeping in a quiet room. I like listening to music or a movie or something. And while I think my bed is a fine place for having sex, I see no reason to confine those activities to the bed... oh, I guess I'm going a bit astray there. Sorry. Anyway, I very rarely even sleep in my bed. I usually sleep on the couch. I feel much safer there.
Anyway. I'd never heard all that about melatonin production and light at night, so I did some research. I found an article published by Harvard Medical School that said the amount of light produced by just two average nightlights was enough to significantly impact melatonin production and interfere with sleep. According to the Harvard article, if you need to have a light on at night, it's best to use a red-tinted light bulb. For some reason, that has the least impact on melatonin production. Blue light, on the other hand, is the worst.
So I decided to experiment. Back at Christmas time, I really enjoyed the lights on the Christmas tree. They were bright enough that I was able to turn out all the other lights in the house, but I think they were dim enough that I was able to sleep better. I had actually considered buying a string of lights of some kind and putting them up somewhere in my house after Christmas was over.
So I decided to do that now, but with a string of red lights. Red, I have to say, is not my favorite color. I'd rather have white lights. Or yellow. Or blue. Or green. But Harvard says it should be red. So red is what I got. They were only $7 from Amazon. They arrived today. I think they look a little more pinkish than red, which I'm not that fond of, either, but if they actually work, I think I'll decide I love them.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them. Right now, I have them draped over a bookcase. If I decide they work and I like them, I'll do something a bit more decorative with them. I thought maybe I'd buy a grapevine wreath and wrap the string of lights around it and hang it on the wall. Something like that. If I do, I'll post a picture.
Well, apparently during the daytime, during daylight hours, your body produces almost no melatonin. Once the sun starts going down and it begins to get dark out, your body starts making a lot more melatonin and this makes you get sleepy. However, indoor lighting can affect the production of melatonin, so if you keep the lights bright inside even after dark, you won't get tired. Or maybe you will get tired, but you'll have trouble sleeping.
According to the book I was reading, even a small amount of light can interfere with the production of melatonin, so it's important to sleep in a dark room. Even the light from a computer or television set can interfere with a good night's sleep, because it interferes with melatonin production.
Well, I have heard that you're not supposed to watch television or use your laptop in bed. That's all part of what's called "sleep hygiene," along with stuff like going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, sleeping in a dark, cool, quiet, comfortable room, not doing anything other than sleeping or having sex in your bed (I'm not sure why they always make an exception for sex, maybe just because some people are so... conservative that the idea of having sex anywhere but the bed might shock them?), etc. But I'd never heard that it had anything to do with melatonin production.
And I pretty much ignore the whole "sleep hygiene" thing because when I try getting up at the same time every day, even if I haven't slept at night, all that does is cause me to be exhausted. It doesn't help me sleep the next night. I know from experience. I don't sleep in a dark room because I can't, because I'm scared to go to sleep in a dark room due to my PTSD. For the same reason, I have trouble sleeping in a quiet room. I like listening to music or a movie or something. And while I think my bed is a fine place for having sex, I see no reason to confine those activities to the bed... oh, I guess I'm going a bit astray there. Sorry. Anyway, I very rarely even sleep in my bed. I usually sleep on the couch. I feel much safer there.
Anyway. I'd never heard all that about melatonin production and light at night, so I did some research. I found an article published by Harvard Medical School that said the amount of light produced by just two average nightlights was enough to significantly impact melatonin production and interfere with sleep. According to the Harvard article, if you need to have a light on at night, it's best to use a red-tinted light bulb. For some reason, that has the least impact on melatonin production. Blue light, on the other hand, is the worst.
So I decided to experiment. Back at Christmas time, I really enjoyed the lights on the Christmas tree. They were bright enough that I was able to turn out all the other lights in the house, but I think they were dim enough that I was able to sleep better. I had actually considered buying a string of lights of some kind and putting them up somewhere in my house after Christmas was over.
So I decided to do that now, but with a string of red lights. Red, I have to say, is not my favorite color. I'd rather have white lights. Or yellow. Or blue. Or green. But Harvard says it should be red. So red is what I got. They were only $7 from Amazon. They arrived today. I think they look a little more pinkish than red, which I'm not that fond of, either, but if they actually work, I think I'll decide I love them.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them. Right now, I have them draped over a bookcase. If I decide they work and I like them, I'll do something a bit more decorative with them. I thought maybe I'd buy a grapevine wreath and wrap the string of lights around it and hang it on the wall. Something like that. If I do, I'll post a picture.
Service Dogs as Companions and Friends
Yesterday I went into my bedroom to put away some laundry and Isaac followed me, as he usually does. He jumped up on the bed and I lay down on the bed beside him. He snuggled right up to me, with his head resting in the crook on my arm, and fell right to sleep.
As I lay there with him for a while, I thought about my relationship with Isaac.
When I read newspaper articles or news accounts or just stories online about service dogs, they often talk about how a service dog will be a beloved companion or a constant friend for someone with a disability, especially when talking about service dogs for children, like those with autism. Of course, being a friend or companion is not a trained task, and if that's all a dog does for something, then it is not a service dog. The media often seems to forget that, or at least, fails to report it.
When I decided I wanted to get a service dog, I assumed I'd love the dog. I love animals. It's hard to imagine living with an animal that I didn't love. It's hard to imagine not growing to love any animal that I live with.
But Isaac and I were not best friends instantly. Maybe that happens for some people, but it wasn't the case for us. He liked me a lot right away, but he likes everyone right away. He loves the UPS guy. He loves the pharmacist, the cashier at Kroger and the lady that works at the post office. And I liked Isaac right away, because he's so friendly and loving and loveable and funny and it would be hard not to like him. But I didn't fall in love with him right away and I didn't feel like we were best friends right away.
I think it took about a year for us to bond really solidly. I don't know if that's typical of people with service dogs or not. But the type of bond we have now, that didn't happen instantly. It didn't happen quickly.
As I was lying on the bed with Isaac, stroking his head, listening to his doggie snores, I thought about how odd it is, really, that this dog gets trained to perform certain tasks and then is matched up with a person and expected to become that person's best friend as well as being some sort of living durable medical equipment that will serve this person day and night. And yet, it works. That's the really amazing thing.
I'm so aware that Isaac didn't really get a choice. No one asked him, "Hey, would you like to be a service dog when you grow up?" But they did identify that he had character traits that would make a good service dog and that he enjoyed learning tasks and performing them. He does enjoy the work that he does. But he didn't get to pick where he lives, or who he lives with, or what tasks he would be asked to do.
Maybe that's part of why I am so, so careful to make sure Isaac is happy, that his needs are being met.
But also, he is my friend. Part of why he likes working for me - and I really believe he does - is because he just likes hanging out with me. He wants to go where I go. He wants to be with me. Good grief, he scarcely lets me go to the bathroom by myself.
I don't know if I'm making sense here. It's just incredible to me, this friendship that has developed between me and this dog. And I'm not even a dog person. I tell people that. I say I'm an Isaac person, not a dog person.
As I lay there with him for a while, I thought about my relationship with Isaac.
When I read newspaper articles or news accounts or just stories online about service dogs, they often talk about how a service dog will be a beloved companion or a constant friend for someone with a disability, especially when talking about service dogs for children, like those with autism. Of course, being a friend or companion is not a trained task, and if that's all a dog does for something, then it is not a service dog. The media often seems to forget that, or at least, fails to report it.
When I decided I wanted to get a service dog, I assumed I'd love the dog. I love animals. It's hard to imagine living with an animal that I didn't love. It's hard to imagine not growing to love any animal that I live with.
But Isaac and I were not best friends instantly. Maybe that happens for some people, but it wasn't the case for us. He liked me a lot right away, but he likes everyone right away. He loves the UPS guy. He loves the pharmacist, the cashier at Kroger and the lady that works at the post office. And I liked Isaac right away, because he's so friendly and loving and loveable and funny and it would be hard not to like him. But I didn't fall in love with him right away and I didn't feel like we were best friends right away.
I think it took about a year for us to bond really solidly. I don't know if that's typical of people with service dogs or not. But the type of bond we have now, that didn't happen instantly. It didn't happen quickly.
As I was lying on the bed with Isaac, stroking his head, listening to his doggie snores, I thought about how odd it is, really, that this dog gets trained to perform certain tasks and then is matched up with a person and expected to become that person's best friend as well as being some sort of living durable medical equipment that will serve this person day and night. And yet, it works. That's the really amazing thing.
I'm so aware that Isaac didn't really get a choice. No one asked him, "Hey, would you like to be a service dog when you grow up?" But they did identify that he had character traits that would make a good service dog and that he enjoyed learning tasks and performing them. He does enjoy the work that he does. But he didn't get to pick where he lives, or who he lives with, or what tasks he would be asked to do.
Maybe that's part of why I am so, so careful to make sure Isaac is happy, that his needs are being met.
But also, he is my friend. Part of why he likes working for me - and I really believe he does - is because he just likes hanging out with me. He wants to go where I go. He wants to be with me. Good grief, he scarcely lets me go to the bathroom by myself.
I don't know if I'm making sense here. It's just incredible to me, this friendship that has developed between me and this dog. And I'm not even a dog person. I tell people that. I say I'm an Isaac person, not a dog person.
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