Thursday, February 27, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
And, Just Like That, My Tutoring Job Has Ended
TK is going to be transferring to an alternative school, where he should be getting extra help. Dad doesn't think he'll need to continue with tutoring at this point, though he might in the future, and dad says he will be calling me if they decide he needs a tutor again.
I feel disappointed. I'm glad TK is going to be going to the alternative school because I don't think he was going to be able to catch up at his regular school, and also I don't think tutoring was going to be enough help for him, especially since his parents seemed unable or unwilling to get him to tutoring on time and all the other goofy stuff dad was doing. So I'm glad for the kid but I'm disappointed for me.
Also, I can't help feeling a little like maybe I wasn't doing a good enough job. I don't think that was the case. Dad told me that if I need a reference for other tutoring jobs, to please feel free to give people his number. I don't think it's about me. But, blah, sometimes the depression says it is. And I was feeling kind of depressed today, anyway.
I feel disappointed. I'm glad TK is going to be going to the alternative school because I don't think he was going to be able to catch up at his regular school, and also I don't think tutoring was going to be enough help for him, especially since his parents seemed unable or unwilling to get him to tutoring on time and all the other goofy stuff dad was doing. So I'm glad for the kid but I'm disappointed for me.
Also, I can't help feeling a little like maybe I wasn't doing a good enough job. I don't think that was the case. Dad told me that if I need a reference for other tutoring jobs, to please feel free to give people his number. I don't think it's about me. But, blah, sometimes the depression says it is. And I was feeling kind of depressed today, anyway.
Guarding the Service Dog
Every since hearing about the service dog that was attacked by a customer in Walmart, I've been a bit more wary than normal when I'm shopping with Isaac. This was not the first story I've heard of a service dog being attacked but for some reason it stands out in my mind.
Service dogs are sometimes attacked by other dogs and sometimes by humans. It certainly doesn't happen every day, but it's a common enough occurrence that it's a common topic of discussion among service dog handlers. Not just that attacks, but how to prevent them and how to protect your dog.
Some service dog handlers carry pepper spray. Apparently pepper spray is not legal in all areas, or at least not pepper spray of a certain strength. Some service dog handlers suggest carrying a stun gun, which is also not legal in all areas. A commonly-heard suggestion is to carry an umbrella, the kind that pops open when you push a button. An umbrella may not be much of a defense against violent humans, but if an aggressive dog is coming toward your dog, you can point the umbrella at the aggressive dog and push the button so it pops open, forming a barrier between your dog and the aggressive dog and also startling the approaching, aggressive dog, hopefully stopping him in his tracks.
While an umbrella might be fairly effective protection against aggressive, uncontrolled dogs (that shouldn't be in public places anyway), logistically it seems awkward at best to me. I thought about it the other day while grocery shopping with Isaac. I have only two hands. While grocery shopping with Isaac, I must hold Isaac's leash, push the shopping cart, hold my shopping list and still manage to pick up items and put them in my cart. How would I hold an umbrella at the same time? Just putting the umbrella in my cart wouldn't be effective. I'd need to have the umbrella ready to pop it open at any moment. I'd have to have another hand.
You're probably thinking, why would a service dog be attacked by another dog in a grocery store? Dogs aren't allowed in grocery stores, right? But there are people claiming their dogs are service dogs that bring aggressive dogs into public places where they shouldn't be. I know a service dog handler that is currently dealing with an issue on her college campus. Another student has a dog she claims is a service dog that has attacked a couple of legitimate service dogs on the campus. I don't know why the university disability services continues to allow her to bring her dog onto the campus. But anyway, it happens.
It's a ridiculous thing to have to worry about when you're out shopping with your service dog. But as I was shopping the other day, I was aware of the risk.
Service dogs are sometimes attacked by other dogs and sometimes by humans. It certainly doesn't happen every day, but it's a common enough occurrence that it's a common topic of discussion among service dog handlers. Not just that attacks, but how to prevent them and how to protect your dog.
Some service dog handlers carry pepper spray. Apparently pepper spray is not legal in all areas, or at least not pepper spray of a certain strength. Some service dog handlers suggest carrying a stun gun, which is also not legal in all areas. A commonly-heard suggestion is to carry an umbrella, the kind that pops open when you push a button. An umbrella may not be much of a defense against violent humans, but if an aggressive dog is coming toward your dog, you can point the umbrella at the aggressive dog and push the button so it pops open, forming a barrier between your dog and the aggressive dog and also startling the approaching, aggressive dog, hopefully stopping him in his tracks.
While an umbrella might be fairly effective protection against aggressive, uncontrolled dogs (that shouldn't be in public places anyway), logistically it seems awkward at best to me. I thought about it the other day while grocery shopping with Isaac. I have only two hands. While grocery shopping with Isaac, I must hold Isaac's leash, push the shopping cart, hold my shopping list and still manage to pick up items and put them in my cart. How would I hold an umbrella at the same time? Just putting the umbrella in my cart wouldn't be effective. I'd need to have the umbrella ready to pop it open at any moment. I'd have to have another hand.
You're probably thinking, why would a service dog be attacked by another dog in a grocery store? Dogs aren't allowed in grocery stores, right? But there are people claiming their dogs are service dogs that bring aggressive dogs into public places where they shouldn't be. I know a service dog handler that is currently dealing with an issue on her college campus. Another student has a dog she claims is a service dog that has attacked a couple of legitimate service dogs on the campus. I don't know why the university disability services continues to allow her to bring her dog onto the campus. But anyway, it happens.
It's a ridiculous thing to have to worry about when you're out shopping with your service dog. But as I was shopping the other day, I was aware of the risk.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Who's in Your Contacts List?
A few days ago, I was going through my phone, deleted contacts that are people I rarely or never call and that I didn't think I needed to keep in my phone. Like the general surgeon that did my breast biopsy last May. If I need a general surgeon again some day, I'd probably go back to him, but I'm not expecting to be calling him any time soon. I have his number in my address book if I need it.
And I decided to delete my mother's number and my sister's number.
They have not spoken to me since November of 2013. I don't expect they will wish to speak to me any time soon. Or any time distant, for that matter. Maybe my sister will call me to let me know when my mother passes away or something, but she is not expected to die any time soon, either, as far as I know.
I have their numbers, and their addresses, in my address book, if I need them. But I don't need them in my phone.
I have considered deleted them from my contacts before, but kept putting it off. Not because I thought I might want to give them a call one day soon. Just because, I guess, it's hard to sever those ties. It's hard to acknowledge that they've been severed. But now it's done.
And you know what?
I think I'd like my contacts list in my phone to be full of people I like and respect, people that like and care about me. I have two contacts in my phone clearly designated as emergency contact people, but really, I like the idea that if I was in a serious car accident on the way to tutoring tomorrow and the paramedics picked up my phone as I was being rushed to the hospital and just pressed "send," my phone would dial someone that cared about me. Someone that would care that I was critically injured. Someone that would ask, "What can I do to help?"
Yes, OK, if the paramedics happened to dial my auto mechanic, he probably would not drop whatever he was doing and rush to the hospital to be with me. But you know what? I'm scrolling through my contacts right now and this is what I see.
The number of a good friend, one of my designated emergency contacts.
Isaac's vet, who, by the way, will provide any necessary emergency medical treatment to Isaac even if I am not available to hand over my credit card at the moment.
A friend.
Another friend.
My primary care physician, who, I bet, would at least make an effort to contact an emergency contact person on my behalf.
Isaac's trainer, who would come and pick him up if I was critically injured and unable to take care of him.
A friend.
A good friend, my other designated emergency contact person.
Another friend.
And another friend.
And another friend.
My psychiatrist, who, I think, would also make an effort to contact an emergency contact person on my behalf (if anyone actually got in touch with him, that is; his office staff these days is not so hot).
My dog walker, who would come and feed and walk Isaac if necessary.
Another friend.
Cayenne's vet, who is a wonderful, caring man and would board both Isaac and Cayenne if necessary while I was in the hospital with critical injuries.
And then there are a few other numbers, my auto mechanic, my pharmacy, my insurance agent, the county welfare office (who I am certain would be of no help in any kind of emergency), etc.
But this is a revelation to me. I never thought about it until now. I want my phone to be full of numbers of people that care about me. People that would care if I was being rushed to the hospital, half dead. And you know what? It is. It mostly is.
How awesome is that?
And I will continue to delete the numbers of people that wouldn't care. Because those are not people I want in my life.
Now. Take a look at your phone? Who's in your contacts list?
And I decided to delete my mother's number and my sister's number.
They have not spoken to me since November of 2013. I don't expect they will wish to speak to me any time soon. Or any time distant, for that matter. Maybe my sister will call me to let me know when my mother passes away or something, but she is not expected to die any time soon, either, as far as I know.
I have their numbers, and their addresses, in my address book, if I need them. But I don't need them in my phone.
I have considered deleted them from my contacts before, but kept putting it off. Not because I thought I might want to give them a call one day soon. Just because, I guess, it's hard to sever those ties. It's hard to acknowledge that they've been severed. But now it's done.
And you know what?
I think I'd like my contacts list in my phone to be full of people I like and respect, people that like and care about me. I have two contacts in my phone clearly designated as emergency contact people, but really, I like the idea that if I was in a serious car accident on the way to tutoring tomorrow and the paramedics picked up my phone as I was being rushed to the hospital and just pressed "send," my phone would dial someone that cared about me. Someone that would care that I was critically injured. Someone that would ask, "What can I do to help?"
Yes, OK, if the paramedics happened to dial my auto mechanic, he probably would not drop whatever he was doing and rush to the hospital to be with me. But you know what? I'm scrolling through my contacts right now and this is what I see.
The number of a good friend, one of my designated emergency contacts.
Isaac's vet, who, by the way, will provide any necessary emergency medical treatment to Isaac even if I am not available to hand over my credit card at the moment.
A friend.
Another friend.
My primary care physician, who, I bet, would at least make an effort to contact an emergency contact person on my behalf.
Isaac's trainer, who would come and pick him up if I was critically injured and unable to take care of him.
A friend.
A good friend, my other designated emergency contact person.
Another friend.
And another friend.
And another friend.
My psychiatrist, who, I think, would also make an effort to contact an emergency contact person on my behalf (if anyone actually got in touch with him, that is; his office staff these days is not so hot).
My dog walker, who would come and feed and walk Isaac if necessary.
Another friend.
Cayenne's vet, who is a wonderful, caring man and would board both Isaac and Cayenne if necessary while I was in the hospital with critical injuries.
And then there are a few other numbers, my auto mechanic, my pharmacy, my insurance agent, the county welfare office (who I am certain would be of no help in any kind of emergency), etc.
But this is a revelation to me. I never thought about it until now. I want my phone to be full of numbers of people that care about me. People that would care if I was being rushed to the hospital, half dead. And you know what? It is. It mostly is.
How awesome is that?
And I will continue to delete the numbers of people that wouldn't care. Because those are not people I want in my life.
Now. Take a look at your phone? Who's in your contacts list?
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Another Trip to the Grocery Store
Yes, I realize that I write about going to the grocery store a lot. Well, I don't go that many places. But also, when you have a service dog, routine trips to the grocery store become, well, a little less routine, I guess.
There's a blog I've been following, Rolling Around in My Head, and I read a post there where the author mentioned that he realizes he writes a lot about doors and floors, but that as a wheelchair user, those two things become much more important than they are to many other people. Maybe it's the same with service dog handlers and grocery stores. Because I'm not the only person I know with a service dog that always seems to have a story about a recent trip to the grocery store.
Anyway. Today I went grocery shopping and I was ringing up my stuff at the U-Scan, Isaac lying quietly between my feet and the scanner. For a change he did not try to sprawl out in the middle of the floor in everyone's way (I make him move when he does that, he just does not seem to get the concept that he is likely to get his tail run over with a shopping cart that way). One of my purchases rang up incorrectly so I had to get an employee to assist me. He came over to the scanner and practically stepped on Isaac before noticing there was a dog there. Which is actually good, it means Isaac was being quiet and well-behaved and unobtrusive, like he is supposed to be. The poor startled teenager just kept saying, I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a dog there!
I don't know if you realize how cool that is, but service dog handlers tend to get pretty excited about it when someone is surprised to notice their dog. It means the dog is doing a great job and it's what you want to happen. Not the surprise, I mean, but the fact that people don't even notice the dog.
A few minutes later, a more typical interaction occurred. Isaac was still lying quietly on the floor while I was lifting my bags of groceries into my cart. There was a young couple using one of the other U-Scans and I heard them talking about Isaac. I heard the young man point out, "It says do not pet," which indeed Isaac's vest does say. And then the young woman came over, bent down close to Isaac's face, and started baby-talking to him. She didn't pet him, though.
I told her to stop. I used to feel bad telling people to leave my dog alone but I don't anymore. I feel annoyed at their behavior, but beyond that, I feel like my first and primary responsibility is to Isaac, and he needs people to leave him alone.
She looked startled and then apologized.
I finished loading my groceries and then decided to spend a minute educating, or at least attempting to educate. So I went over to her and explained that even if it looks like Isaac is just lying there, he's working, he's paying close attention to me, and it's very hard for him to pay attention to me when people are talking to him because he loves the attention. She and the guy with her nodded. Hopefully they learned something.
Isaac, I should add, did beautifully. He did stand up when the woman was bending over talking to him, but that's it. His tail was wagging, but he didn't attempt to jump on her or kiss her or anything like that. And he refocused on me as soon as I told her to leave him alone.
There's a blog I've been following, Rolling Around in My Head, and I read a post there where the author mentioned that he realizes he writes a lot about doors and floors, but that as a wheelchair user, those two things become much more important than they are to many other people. Maybe it's the same with service dog handlers and grocery stores. Because I'm not the only person I know with a service dog that always seems to have a story about a recent trip to the grocery store.
Anyway. Today I went grocery shopping and I was ringing up my stuff at the U-Scan, Isaac lying quietly between my feet and the scanner. For a change he did not try to sprawl out in the middle of the floor in everyone's way (I make him move when he does that, he just does not seem to get the concept that he is likely to get his tail run over with a shopping cart that way). One of my purchases rang up incorrectly so I had to get an employee to assist me. He came over to the scanner and practically stepped on Isaac before noticing there was a dog there. Which is actually good, it means Isaac was being quiet and well-behaved and unobtrusive, like he is supposed to be. The poor startled teenager just kept saying, I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a dog there!
I don't know if you realize how cool that is, but service dog handlers tend to get pretty excited about it when someone is surprised to notice their dog. It means the dog is doing a great job and it's what you want to happen. Not the surprise, I mean, but the fact that people don't even notice the dog.
A few minutes later, a more typical interaction occurred. Isaac was still lying quietly on the floor while I was lifting my bags of groceries into my cart. There was a young couple using one of the other U-Scans and I heard them talking about Isaac. I heard the young man point out, "It says do not pet," which indeed Isaac's vest does say. And then the young woman came over, bent down close to Isaac's face, and started baby-talking to him. She didn't pet him, though.
I told her to stop. I used to feel bad telling people to leave my dog alone but I don't anymore. I feel annoyed at their behavior, but beyond that, I feel like my first and primary responsibility is to Isaac, and he needs people to leave him alone.
She looked startled and then apologized.
I finished loading my groceries and then decided to spend a minute educating, or at least attempting to educate. So I went over to her and explained that even if it looks like Isaac is just lying there, he's working, he's paying close attention to me, and it's very hard for him to pay attention to me when people are talking to him because he loves the attention. She and the guy with her nodded. Hopefully they learned something.
Isaac, I should add, did beautifully. He did stand up when the woman was bending over talking to him, but that's it. His tail was wagging, but he didn't attempt to jump on her or kiss her or anything like that. And he refocused on me as soon as I told her to leave him alone.
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