First thing tomorrow morning, Isaac and I are heading off to Hocking Hills State Park to camp for a few days. Our friend Mike is coming with us. I'm glad to have someone along on my first camping trip, especially someone that can carry heavy things and help set up the tent. And honestly, I'm a bit worried I would get scared at night, in a tent with just Isaac.
I mentioned that to a friend of mine who, before she became disabled, hiked several hundred miles of the Appalachian trail by herself. I am so impressed and also a tiny bit jealous, because that is one of those things I'd love to be able to do but know I will never get to do, with my disability. I can only carry a gallon jug of milk a very short distance. I could never carry a backpack for hundreds of miles. Anyway, my friend told me sure, I would get scared sometimes. She said that's normal. Do it anyway. She said she liked to make herself a cup of tea and read a good book by flashlight when she couldn't sleep while backpacking or camping. She recommended taking extra flashlight batteries.
She also advised not letting Isaac out of the tent unsupervised in the morning just because it was 5 am and the sun not even up yet but he wanted to pee but I was still sleepy. She did that once and her dog (not a service dog, a pet) went out and tangled with a skunk, which I guess put a damper on the whole sleeping-in-a-tent-with-your-dog plan. :)
I have realized that packing for a camping trip is way more involved than packing for a trip in which I plan to stay in a hotel. Yes, Isaac has his own bag, as usual. But in addition to my bag and Isaac's bag, there is the bag with the tent, there is my sleeping bag, there is a bag of non-perishable food items, there is a bag of dishes and cooking utensils, there are a couple of dishpans, and there is a cooler. And I am probably forgetting something there.
I have been making lists of stuff to pack for weeks. I am mostly packed now but have to fill the cooler and add some other items in the morning.
I'm sure I'll have lots of pics and stories when we get home.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Accessible Bathrooms
I've been doing a lot of mystery shopping jobs lately and it has resulted in my using a lot of public restrooms. I think I have a bladder about the size of a pea. Therefore, I have to pee frequently.
When using a public restroom, I use the accessible stall if there is one available when I have Isaac with me. Which is almost always. Isaac and I can squeeze into a very tiny toilet stall if we have to, but we both prefer more room. With many stalls, the doors open inward and while Isaac and I are able to squeeze in, it then becomes very difficult to get the door open when I'm done in order for Isaac to get out.
Anyway, since I've had to use public restrooms more often lately, I've come to realize how often other people seem to prefer the larger stall, too, even if they don't really need the extra room. Of course, it might not always be obvious to me that someone needs the extra room, but if they are an average-sized person and are not using any assistive devices like wheelchairs or walkers or canes or service dogs, it seems likely to me that they can use the regular-sized stall.
One two occasions, I actually had someone push past me, practically pushing me out of their way, in order to beat me to the larger, accessible stall. In once case, this was actually a store employee (and since I was mystery shopping at that store, I made sure to describe what happened in detail in my report).
On several other occasions, I've gone into the restroom to discover the larger, accessible stall was in use, so Isaac and I went into a smaller, non-accessible stall. We came out to discover the person that had been in the larger, accessible stall did not appear to need it.
If you are wondering, here is what is generally considered proper etiquette regarding use of an accessible bathroom stall. There are no laws about it, as there are with regard to accessible parking spaces. It's just respectful. It's just polite. It's good manners and the right thing to do.
1. If you need the larger, accessible stall, then use it. If you need it because you have an assistive device or are a larger-sized person or have poor balance and need the handrails (which are usually only found in that stall) or for any other reason, use the larger stall. Even if you think you don't look like you need it, if you need it, use it.
2. If you don't need the larger, accessible stall, use another, smaller stall if one is available. Leave the larger stall for those that really need it. Let's use the honor system here. You know if you really need the extra room or not.
3. If all the smaller stalls are taken, it is generally considered OK to use the larger one even if you don't really need it. I suggest using your best judgment here. Of course you cannot predict the future and you have no way of knowing if someone that really needs that bigger stall is going to come through the bathroom door in the next 30 seconds. You can decide if you think it's better to wait for a smaller stall to be available or to go ahead and use the bigger one. But in general, don't use the bigger stall unless you need to.
When using a public restroom, I use the accessible stall if there is one available when I have Isaac with me. Which is almost always. Isaac and I can squeeze into a very tiny toilet stall if we have to, but we both prefer more room. With many stalls, the doors open inward and while Isaac and I are able to squeeze in, it then becomes very difficult to get the door open when I'm done in order for Isaac to get out.
Anyway, since I've had to use public restrooms more often lately, I've come to realize how often other people seem to prefer the larger stall, too, even if they don't really need the extra room. Of course, it might not always be obvious to me that someone needs the extra room, but if they are an average-sized person and are not using any assistive devices like wheelchairs or walkers or canes or service dogs, it seems likely to me that they can use the regular-sized stall.
One two occasions, I actually had someone push past me, practically pushing me out of their way, in order to beat me to the larger, accessible stall. In once case, this was actually a store employee (and since I was mystery shopping at that store, I made sure to describe what happened in detail in my report).
On several other occasions, I've gone into the restroom to discover the larger, accessible stall was in use, so Isaac and I went into a smaller, non-accessible stall. We came out to discover the person that had been in the larger, accessible stall did not appear to need it.
If you are wondering, here is what is generally considered proper etiquette regarding use of an accessible bathroom stall. There are no laws about it, as there are with regard to accessible parking spaces. It's just respectful. It's just polite. It's good manners and the right thing to do.
1. If you need the larger, accessible stall, then use it. If you need it because you have an assistive device or are a larger-sized person or have poor balance and need the handrails (which are usually only found in that stall) or for any other reason, use the larger stall. Even if you think you don't look like you need it, if you need it, use it.
2. If you don't need the larger, accessible stall, use another, smaller stall if one is available. Leave the larger stall for those that really need it. Let's use the honor system here. You know if you really need the extra room or not.
3. If all the smaller stalls are taken, it is generally considered OK to use the larger one even if you don't really need it. I suggest using your best judgment here. Of course you cannot predict the future and you have no way of knowing if someone that really needs that bigger stall is going to come through the bathroom door in the next 30 seconds. You can decide if you think it's better to wait for a smaller stall to be available or to go ahead and use the bigger one. But in general, don't use the bigger stall unless you need to.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Been a While Since I've Posted
I guess it's been a busy week! I had some van trouble yesterday. It turned out that the AC compressor seized up and that caused the serpentine belt to break but of course I didn't know that at the time. I just knew it broke down while I was many miles from my mechanic and the tow cost me a small fortune. Like, I literally wanted to cry when the driver told me how much it would be.
But the van is fixed now and as an added bonus, the air conditioning is working really really well, so I'm pleased with that. And I dealt with the stress of the break down OK. Well, I was pretty stressed at the time. I felt frazzled.
And I was also feeling guilty, because I had to call a friend to come pick me up and I felt like I was bothering people and I had to cancel my tutoring session because I had no way to get there and I felt guilty about that, too. It's been a little while since I felt so much overwhelming, mostly irrational guilt. I'm not sure what that was about.
But I got my footing back pretty quickly. Today I was feeling OK.
Isaac has gotten plenty of experience doing long down stays while waiting for the tow truck and sitting at the car repair place and stuff recently. I think he's nailed them. He can usually do two hours pretty easily, longer if we take a short walk for a break.
But the van is fixed now and as an added bonus, the air conditioning is working really really well, so I'm pleased with that. And I dealt with the stress of the break down OK. Well, I was pretty stressed at the time. I felt frazzled.
And I was also feeling guilty, because I had to call a friend to come pick me up and I felt like I was bothering people and I had to cancel my tutoring session because I had no way to get there and I felt guilty about that, too. It's been a little while since I felt so much overwhelming, mostly irrational guilt. I'm not sure what that was about.
But I got my footing back pretty quickly. Today I was feeling OK.
Isaac has gotten plenty of experience doing long down stays while waiting for the tow truck and sitting at the car repair place and stuff recently. I think he's nailed them. He can usually do two hours pretty easily, longer if we take a short walk for a break.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
How Many Kids and Counting?
All this news about the Duggars has been very triggering to me. A lot of what's bothering me is that Jim Bob and Michelle did nothing to protect their children. They continued to allow Josh in the home, around the other children. And then Anna married him, knowing he sexually abused children, and bore him more children, which he will most likely abuse as well. Because sex offenders rarely stop. How many kids has he victimized already? And how many more will he hurt?
I think the way a family responds when a child is sexually abused has a lot to do with the degree of trauma that child experiences.
Here's what I mean. I know a guy that was sexually abused by a neighbor as a child. He told his parents. He felt safe telling his parents and trusted them to help him, regardless of what the neighbor might have told him about keeping it a secret. And his parents responded as perfectly as any parents could have. They told him what the neighbor did was wrong. They told him it wasn't his fault. They told him they were sorry the neighbor hurt him. They told him how glad they were he'd told them what happened.
His parents called the police. They wanted charges to be pressed. In the course of the investigation, it was discovered there were a number of other victims. The neighbor, upon being confronted with the evidence against him, confessed. He plead guilty. There was no trial, because he plead guilty, and he went to prison.
His parents found a counselor that was experienced in treating male children that had been sexually abused. He went to counseling for a while. Said the counselor helped, not only with things related to the abuse, but with other things, too. He went to counseling for as long as he needed to go, then stopped going, but knew if he needed to go back, he could just tell his parents and they would take him back.
As an adult, he does not seem to me to be particularly traumatized by what happened to him as a child. He does not have PTSD. He doesn't have nightmares about it. He does not suffer from clinical depression or anxiety. He isn't ashamed about what happened to him. He doesn't feel guilty about it.
Compare that to what happens to many children that are sexually abused. Compare it to what happened to me. I didn't tell what it happened. I didn't trust my mother to help me. When I told her as an adult, she accused me of lying or being crazy. I expect her response would have been the same if I'd told her when I was a child. I doubt she would have called the police or found me a good counselor.
How much of the trauma comes, not from the actual abuse, but from not being able to tell, from not being believed, from being blamed, from not getting the help you need to deal with what happened? Sure, the abuse is traumatic. But the rest of it just compounds that trauma so much.
I think the way a family responds when a child is sexually abused has a lot to do with the degree of trauma that child experiences.
Here's what I mean. I know a guy that was sexually abused by a neighbor as a child. He told his parents. He felt safe telling his parents and trusted them to help him, regardless of what the neighbor might have told him about keeping it a secret. And his parents responded as perfectly as any parents could have. They told him what the neighbor did was wrong. They told him it wasn't his fault. They told him they were sorry the neighbor hurt him. They told him how glad they were he'd told them what happened.
His parents called the police. They wanted charges to be pressed. In the course of the investigation, it was discovered there were a number of other victims. The neighbor, upon being confronted with the evidence against him, confessed. He plead guilty. There was no trial, because he plead guilty, and he went to prison.
His parents found a counselor that was experienced in treating male children that had been sexually abused. He went to counseling for a while. Said the counselor helped, not only with things related to the abuse, but with other things, too. He went to counseling for as long as he needed to go, then stopped going, but knew if he needed to go back, he could just tell his parents and they would take him back.
As an adult, he does not seem to me to be particularly traumatized by what happened to him as a child. He does not have PTSD. He doesn't have nightmares about it. He does not suffer from clinical depression or anxiety. He isn't ashamed about what happened to him. He doesn't feel guilty about it.
Compare that to what happens to many children that are sexually abused. Compare it to what happened to me. I didn't tell what it happened. I didn't trust my mother to help me. When I told her as an adult, she accused me of lying or being crazy. I expect her response would have been the same if I'd told her when I was a child. I doubt she would have called the police or found me a good counselor.
How much of the trauma comes, not from the actual abuse, but from not being able to tell, from not being believed, from being blamed, from not getting the help you need to deal with what happened? Sure, the abuse is traumatic. But the rest of it just compounds that trauma so much.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Cuyahoga Valley National Park
A few days ago, Isaac and I went to Cuyahoga Valley National Park for the day. We hiked a lot. I bet I walked six or seven miles. Isaac would have traveled more miles than I did, of course, because I let him off the leash a couple times and he literally ran laps around me, he was so excited and so full of energy. He also did some rock climbing, some spelunking and some swimming. Seriously, though, we hiked for about 90 minutes on along the old canal path, then returned to the car for a drink, a little snack and a brief rest, then hiked for about an hour more, then returned to the car for another short break, then hiked about another 90 minutes.
One the middle leg or our hike, we went to Blue Hen Falls.
I thought Isaac would love the falls but he was more interested in the boulders and rocky ledges than in the water. He did go behind the falls for a minute, though.
He really enjoyed crawling under the rocks, though. He is quite the spelunker.
See his butt sticking out, there?
Then on the final leg of our journey, we went to Indigo Lake and he went for a swim.
One the middle leg or our hike, we went to Blue Hen Falls.
Then on the final leg of our journey, we went to Indigo Lake and he went for a swim.
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