Jealousy

I rarely feel jealous.

I'm not sure why.  I think mostly, most of the time, there aren't things other people have that I want, plus, I don't see other people having things as meaning I don't have those things.  I don't look at life that way.  I don't think there is a great scarcity of resources.  I tend to operate more from a model of abundance.  I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but there it is.

And when I do feel jealous, it's usually not over things.  I'm not very into material things.  I'm more likely to feel jealous of, say, someone that has a great, caring, loving, supportive family than of someone that has money or material stuff.

Also, I don't think jealousy is a very useful or productive emotion, at least not most of the time.  Of course, emotions aren't always productive and they don't have to be and the fact that an emotion isn't useful or helpful doesn't mean I never feel it.  But maybe that is part of why I don't feel jealous very often.

But a few days ago, I felt intense jealousy over something.  And it was such a strong feeling that it seemed interesting and note-worthy to me.

I have a friend who has a friend that is trying to raise money to get a service dog for a family member.  She started a Go Fund Me account to raise money.  I did that, too, when I was fundraising for Isaac.

In 11 days, she has raised over $4,000.

It took me a year to raise about half that amount.

I don't quite get why I feel jealous about that.  I mean, I already have a service dog.  Yeah, it was really hard for me to raise the money and she's not having nearly the trouble raising money that I did.  But I already have a service dog.  So what difference does it make, at this point, how long it took me to raise the money?  I did it.  I have my dog.

Also, the program I think she has decided to go with is charging her more than four times what Isaac's program charged me.  So she's raised over $4,000 but that's only about 20 percent of what she has to raise.  So.... well, I'm not sure what difference that makes, either.  Except that it's not like she's almost to her goal in 11 days.  Although she's almost to the amount that my goal was.

But it's not like she's getting something I want but can't get.  It's not like people giving her money for a service dog is keeping me from getting a service dog.  I already have a service dog.  Maybe she feels jealous of that.

I don't know.  I think maybe it's about the fact that she has friends and family members that are so supportive.  Maybe I'm really jealous of that, not the money or how fast she's getting it.  But that doesn't even seem right to me, rationally speaking.  I mean, larger donations does not necessarily equal caring more.  I remember one friend sending me $5 and saying she wished she could send more, and I know that $5 was a stretch for her financially at that time, and I don't think she cared less about me just because she couldn't donate $100 or $1,000.

I don't like feeling jealous.

You're Not Leaving, Are You?

Today Isaac and I went to the dog park for a while and most of the time we were the only ones there. At one point, I decided I wanted something from my car, and since no other dogs were there and my car was parked right outside the fence, I left Isaac in the fenced in area while I went to my car for a second. Poor Isaac, I think he thought I was going to leave him there. He was busy playing and having fun, but as soon as I went out the gate, he ran over to the gate and stood right by it, looking sad and worried, until I returned. It was kind of sweet but kind of sad, too. Silly doggie, like I would ever leave him anywhere.

Whiskers Playing

Look how cute she is!

That's Not How It Works

Today at Panera, Isaac and I were sitting outside on the patio when a woman walked by and stopped to talk to him. Isaac stood up and wagged his tail, and then she saw his vest.

She then apologized to me, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize he was a working dog." Good so far, right?

But then she bent over so she could make eye contact with Isaac and proceeded to say, in a high-pitched, baby-talk voice, "I won't bother you since you're working. Oh no, I won't. I don't want to bother you when you're working, pretty baby. Oh no, I don't."

Um.... that's not how it works.

Update on Whiskers

I know, it's been a while since I posted anything.  I've had a lot going on and had several days in which I was really not feeling well at all.

First I'll update you about Whiskers the Cat.

Perhaps the biggest update is, Whiskers is a girl!  My friend had told me the cat was a boy and I just assumed he knew.  I mean, it's not hard to tell what gender a cat is, right?  But my friend was wrong.

Whiskers has been at my home for four days now.  She is going to be here until mid-July.  A friend of mine halfway across the country found a home for her with a friend of hers.  My friend is attending a professional conference in Chicago in mid-July and Whiskers can ride home with her from the conference.  That means I only have to drive Whiskers to Chicago, which is 5.5 hours away, instead of a 14 hour drive.

Meanwhile, Whiskers is staying with me where she can get her medication and hopefully recover from both her UTI and her severe constipation so that she will be in good health when she goes to her new home. 

Giving her the antibiotic pills twice a day is rough!  She is a little hellion, I tell you.  Both my hands are all clawed up and she also got me good on one eyebrow.  It's a good thing I wear glasses, I guess, or she might have put my eye out.  She does not like pills and refuses to cooperate in any way.

She is taking her fiber supplement well, though.  I mix it in a teaspoon of turkey baby food and she thinks that is quite delicious.  Isaac thinks it smells delicious and he is quite disappointed that he doesn't get any.

Whiskers is eating well.  I just bought her some Iams kibble, a special hairball formula.  She does not hack up hairballs but I think it may help with her digestion and constipation.  The vet had suggested a hairball remedy for her for just that reason, but she does not like it and it is very difficult to get her to eat it.  I've never had a cat that didn't like hairball remedies before.  They've always thought it was a yummy treat.  But not Whiskers.

The first night she was here, she woke me up at 3:00 am, pacing the house and meowing.  It woke Isaac up, too, and he was so tired he wasn't even interested in going over to see what she was doing.  He just looked at her with half-opened eyes like "What on earth are you doing? And when will you stop?"

The second night was quiet.  That evening, she seemed interested in playing and of course I had no cat toys for her.  I gave her the plastic ring from a milk jug and I also played with her with a piece of yarn for a bit.  The next day I got her some toys and today I got her some more.  Her favorite seems to be the plastic milk ring, though.  I keep finding it in my bed.

Whiskers has taken over my bedroom.  She chose it was her space.  Under the bed is her safe place and the first 24 hours she was here, she spent a lot of time under the bed.  She would come out to creep around the house, exploring, and then run back under the bed for safety.  The second day, she decided she liked lying on the bed and also that she liked sitting in the bedroom window, which I've been leaving open since the weather has been nice.  She still runs under the bed if startled or made nervous, but she hangs out on the bed or in the window.

I'm glad she's doing well and relieved to have found a good home for her.