Feeling overwhelmed is a pretty common symptom of my depression and PTSD. Mostly I deal with it by carefully scheduling my days so that I don't have too much to do on any one day. I mostly know how much I can easily tolerate and how much is pushing things a bit too hard. Of course, sometimes things happen that are out of my control and I have more to do than I'd like, more than I can easily handle.
I get frustrated because things that are too much for me seem to be easy for most people. I get tired easily. I get worn out, physically and mentally, faster than most people seem to. I have fewer spoons than most people. Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I ignore that fact because I don't want it to be true, because I think I should be able to do more, because I feel guilty for not being able to do more... and then I regret it.
One of the things I miss about being in a relationship with Mike is that, when we were together, whenever I felt overwhelmed and had too much to do, I would just ask him what things I should do and what things I shouldn't. He would look at my daily "to do" list and tell me,"We really need some groceries so go to the store. The laundry can wait until tomorrow or the next day. Take a nap instead."
Somehow, having him tell me that made me feel OK about it. I can look at my own list of things to do and try to pick out what things are most important and what things can wait, but I have a hard time with it. I have a hard time putting "take a nap" on my list.
Right now, I feel tired and overwhelmed. I'm stressed out about how much Cayenne's visit to the vet cost and how much I have to pay Wednesday for my bridge. I need to get a lot done in the next few days. Too bad Isaac can't fix my "to do" list for me.
It sucks that you're feeling overwhelmed and that you are having a hard time balancing your to-do list without Mike. Do you have another friend in your life who could help you with this? Are you seeing a therapist who can offer suggestions on how to manage tasks when they seem overwhelming? It would be nice if there was a PTSD support group in your area to talk about things like this and get advice and accountability. I'm glad Cayenne is doing OK for the most part. It's hard not to worry about money or bills but you just have to explain to the vet and the dentist that you are on a limited income and there's nothing you can do as far as paying more than a set amount each month and hope they understand. Many people are struggling financially and I can't imagine they would not be understanding. Just breathe and take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You have a lot to handle!
ReplyDeleteI don't really have anyone else that can help me with that. I do not have a therapist currently, either. I don't know if you remember or not, you probably do, about a year ago I had a really bed experience of being hospitalized involuntarily and I went to therapy for a couple months after that but I didn't feel safe. I do not feel safe seeing a therapist anymore. I think if anyone in the world needs therapy, I do, but I just don't feel like it's an option for me now.
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