It's about 3 am and I'm wide awake.
I have my dental work this afternoon. About 11 hours from now, in fact. And I'm anxious about it.
I'm doing all I can to prepare.
I moved my regular tutoring session from Tuesday to Monday so I don't have to go tutor after getting my tooth pulled. The student's mom assured me that it would be OK to cancel Thursday, too, if I'm not feeling well by then. I was like, "Oh, I better be feeling OK by then!" Good grief, I don't wanna be in pain for three days!
It was kinda funny. The little girl I'm tutoring is 10 years old but she has pretty significant learning disabilities, so she's more like a six-year-old, I'd say, socially. She wanted to see my loose tooth and wanted to know if she could wiggle it. So I let her. First I got her to tell me what letter "tooth" starts with. Sneak some learning in there whenever I can, you know! Then she informed me she thought it was going to hurt a lot when they pull it. I told her to shush and get back to her homework.
I have protein shakes, yogurt, soup, homemade applesauce, lots of yummy soft and liquid stuff in case it hurts to eat. I have my anxiety meds in my purse - I'll take one right before I get to the dentist's office so it should be kicking in by the time it's time for the procedure. And I have my anxiety meds and Tylenol by the couch for when I get home. I have Orajel by the couch, too. I have my heating pad on the couch and I'm going to put my weighted blanket out here before I leave for the appointment. I have an ice pack in the freezer. My dishes are washed, my house tidied up. I have some music I like on my MP3 player to listen to in the car. I've got movies to watch on Netflix when I get home, while I lie on the couch.
I finished up the custom cloth menstrual pads a friend ordered and will stop by the post office to mail them before I go to the dentist. I have some articles to write but those were just requested yesterday and I told my client I probably wouldn't be able to start on them until Wednesday or Thursday. So there is no pressing work I have to do. All I have to do is rest and recover until it's time to go tutor on Thursday. And I have my tutoring materials ready for that session already.
A friend offered to come over after I get home from the dentist and spend the evening with me. It's someone I'm sort of dating. We haven't known each other real long and I wasn't sure I wanted him to see me when I was feeling anxious and unwell, but I like him and I trust him and he really seemed to want to be here for me. So I said OK.
Mike was going to stop by when he gets off work but I told him he doesn't need to since my other friend is coming over. But Mike said I could call him if I changed my mind, he'll be available.
My other friend will probably actually be more helpful, though. He will do stuff like take Isaac out to pee for me if I don't feel like getting up and taking him out. When I had the biopsy of my gum done a few months ago, I remember I ended up taking a double dose of my anxiety meds, which pretty much zonked me out for a few hours, because that was the only thing I could think of to do to cope with the pain. I may end up doing that again, but I'd feel better about doing it with someone else here with me to take Isaac out and stuff.
I think I've done all I can do to prepare but I still feel really anxious.