Saturday, December 19, 2015

Discrimination Is Not Helpful

Quite a few people have suggested to me that the first church I called, the one that said I could bring Isaac but we would have to sit in a special reserved seat, was not trying to discriminate or make me uncomfortable but was trying to be helpful.  Well, I don't know what their intentions were.  You would assume a church would want to be helpful and welcoming, but then, many churches refuse to allow people with service dogs to attend at all, so those churches do not intend to be helpful or welcoming.  So that is not the intention of all churches.

But maybe it was the intention of this church.  I don't know.  I didn't ask them.

The bottom line is, no matter what their intentions, discrimination is not helpful.  Discrimination is not welcoming.

And yes, segregating a person because they have a disability, insisting they must sit in a special reserved seat when everyone else gets to choose any seat they like, is discrimination.  Offering to reserve a seat or asking if I would need a special seat, that would be offering to be helpful.  But insisting I sit in a special seat when I do not need or want a special seat?  That is discrimination.

The U.S. Department of Justice even says it is discrimination.  Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, it is illegal for a business to do that.  But of course, churches are exempt from the ADA, so they are allowed to discriminate.  The fact that it is legal doesn't make it helpful, though.

The thing that surprised me is that many of the people suggesting the church just wanted to be helpful and that I was being unreasonable have disabilities.  I've written before about how bigotry can be internalized and this is yet another example.  I am unreasonable for objecting to discrimination.  The people discriminating against me are not unreasonable.  I should appreciate them just allowing me to attend their church and not expect to receive equal treatment. 

Well, no.  I don't appreciate discrimination and I don't find it helpful.  Not at all.

5 comments:

  1. Hello Kelly, Issac and Wiskers
    as always your posts are very well written: You really bring up a very good topic that I will reflect on. Discrimination: this is a good topic. (short story) Last year, tried to volunteer for a non profit that helps other people who are disabled. Was told in so many words, (that I didn't looked disabled enough) Moreover, when I do get a service dog, I wouldn't be allowed near clients as many clients are afraid of all kinds of dogs. In summary: there is discriminatory practices even within the world for those who have disabilities.
    Sincerely
    Allan

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    1. If you open your eyes to it, there really is a lot of discrimination against people with disabilities. And even by other people with disabilities. One person with a service dog once told me she thought a group of friends that all had service dogs should not go out to dinner together because it might intimidate people. Really, if my friends happen to have service dogs, we can't go out to dinner? But that's what she really thought.

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  2. Hi Kelly, Issac and Wiskers
    Thank you for your thoughts and feedback: I am still in reflection mode. However, your thoughts and feedback are most welcomed. Thank you.
    Respectfully
    Allan

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  3. I'm with you, Kelly. With my anxiety, I wouldn't have been able to sit in the front row at all. If they really wanted to accommodate you, they would have asked you rather than give you an ultimatum.

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    1. That's what I think, Brandi. It would have been fine, nice even, if they had asked if I needed any other accommodations beyond having my service dog there. But making assumptions about what a person needs isn't nice or helpful, even if it is well-intentioned. And requiring a person to sit in a special area is discrimination, no matter what the intent.

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