Seeing the Oral Surgeon Today

And I am a mess.

I am a mess not only because I have to have oral surgery but also because a friend was supposed to be going with me and at the last minute, like 10:00 last night, told me he can't make it.  I had known there was a slight possibility (I thought it was slight, anyway) that he would not be able to go to the appointment with me, but he had said that if he couldn't do that, he would be here afterwards.  And now he's not coming at all.

He has a reason.  An excuse.  Whatever.  It doesn't seem like a good enough reason to me.

My feelings are hurt.  I also feel angry at myself, for counting on someone.  I should have known I'd be doing this alone, like I do most things in my life alone.  I could have scheduled the dog walker to come take Isaac out this afternoon, or I even thought about asking my  neighbor if he would be willing to walk Isaac later, in case I am in a lot of pain or doped up on pain pills or something.  But I didn't, because I was counting on my friend to be here.  That was stupid on my part and a mistake I won't make again.

I can get through this by myself.  I've gotten through harder things by myself.  When I had my breast biopsy in May, a friend drove me to the hospital and drove me home, but left very soon after that.  I was alone after that.  I took care of Isaac, took care of myself.  That was worse than getting a tooth extracted, right?  So I can do it.  I'm just sad that I have to do it alone.