Yesterday I had an appointment with a doctor that is a chiropractor and also does acupuncture. I've considered acupuncture for a long time but since there was no guarantee it would help me and my insurance doesn't cover it and it's expensive and I am fairly poor, I never tried it until now.
But I decided recently that I had to do something different. Not only for the fibro pain, but everything else, too. This UTI. This weird gum infection that finally seems to be gone, but that I dealt with for so many months. My PTSD. I've been having more trouble sleeping lately, feeling more anxious and depressed, and at first I attributed that to tutoring more hours, but I'm not sure that's all of it. And I felt like I needed to do something and I thought of calling my psychiatrist for an appointment (I'm not scheduled to see him again until March, I think), but then I thought, what is he going to do? Prescribe more medication? And I don't really want more psych meds.
A couple friends have tried to talk me into seeing a therapist. But I don't want to. I think it might help me, if I could feel safe enough doing so. But it doesn't feel safe. It's not just that I don't want to, I actually ended up having a pretty bad anxiety attack last night just talking about the possibility with a friend.
It feels to me like the fibro is very connected to the traumatic experience at the hospital a couple years ago. Maybe some other stuff is related, as well. It's hard to know. How do you diagnose that?
So I talked to another friend, a friend that happens to be a therapist but that I knew would also get it when I said I felt like there were trauma stuck in my body and that I thought past trauma was causing my fibro. We talked, and I did some thinking, and then I decided that I have to do something. I can't keep doing nothing and hope that things will somehow change. That makes no sense.
So I made an appointment with a massage therapist. I made an appointment with an acupuncturist. And some other stuff.
But. Acupuncture. I love the acupuncturist. She is fantastic. And I felt great after my first session. It was weird. The first thing I noticed was that my vision seemed clearer. It was like things were sharper, brighter, more in focus. But my pain seemed better, too. I came home from the appointment and took a nap and it was a great nap. I woke feeling really refreshed.
Then later I had a conversation with a friend about seeing a therapist and had a big anxiety attack. But still. The acupuncture seemed to help.
The acupuncturist loves Isaac. She said she'd like to have a therapy dog in her office some day.
Isaac was great during the appointment. He lay down beside the bed I was on and took a nap.