Last week I had a mammogram and today I found out I have to go get more images taken of my right breast. Almost two years ago, I had to have a biopsy of my left breast, which turned out to be benign, but it was very stressful. I don't want to go through that again.
I also kind of feel
like my body has betrayed me. I do a lot of things to try to stay
healthy. I am disabled, but in many ways, I am healthier than many
people I know. I eat a pretty healthy diet, no meat, little sugar, not a lot of processed foods,not five servings of fruits and veggies every day but I probably average three servings a day, eat organic local stuff when I can, etc. I take vitamins, a lot of them because of my gastric bypass, carefully planned based on my lab results. I am a healthy weight, maybe slightly overweight according to my BMI, but just a little. I exercise
regularly, just hiking with my dog, but it's exercise, lately about 30 to 60 minutes maybe four days a week because of the cold but when it was warmer it was more like 60 to 90 minutes at least six days a week. I meditate. I don't
smoke, almost never drink (a glass of wine a few times a year, maybe),
see my doctor regularly, etc.
I feel like I do all the things I am
supposed to but my body doesn't do what it is supposed to. In fact, it does weird things, like that gum infection/inflammation that lasted for seven months that none of the specialists I saw could figure out. I just feel sad. I feel like my body and I are not on the same side. I feel like my body doesn't like me. Of course, I have spent much of my life not liking my body, so why would it like me?