Little Victories

I know I write a lot about problems I'm having but I want to try to focus on positive things more and there have been a few positives in the last week or two.

• I know I've mentioned how much I hate asking for help.  Well, about a week ago, I needed to do a load of laundry and I had enough quarters for the washing machine but was one quarter short of  having enough for the dryer.  I spent some time searching for one more quarter, in the bottom of my purse, under the seats in my car, everywhere I could think to look, but could not find one.  I thought of going out in the bad weather to an ATM machine, withdrawing $10 (and paying a fee for using an ATM at a bank where I did not have an account), and going to the grocery store to see if they would give me some quarters.  I thought of just washing my stuff and hanging it up all over my apartment to dry.  I also thought of asking one of my  neighbors if they had a quarter (I had nickles and dimes, just no quarters), but that seems a lot like asking for help, and I didn't want to.  But I finally did.  And of course, she gave me a quarter.  And it was so much easier than going to the ATM and then to the grocery store, so much easier than having wet laundry hung up all over the place to dry. 
• And tonight, I asked a friend if he could stop on his way home from work and bring me a gallon of milk.  I hated asking for that.  But it is freezing out, it's snowy, the roads are kind of icy still, and my back hurts.  To go out to the store, I would have had to scrape ice off my car windows, which is hard on my back.  The cold makes my joints hurt.  I just really, really didn't want to go out.  I need some stuff from the store, but I figured if I just had someone to bring me some milk, I could have a protein shake for dinner and another for breakfast in the morning and I can figure out getting to the store in another day or two.  So I asked.   And I got milk.
• About a week ago, I was in the kitchen making my morning protein shake.  I poured a glass of milk, added calcium citrate powder and Miralax, and was getting ready to add the vanilla protein powder - and I knocked over the glass.  Spilled milk all over the counter.  Luckily it didn't get on the floor, so it wasn't too hard to clean it up.  What's notable about this is that I didn't get too upset about spilling the milk.  Normally, a little thing like this sets off this whole downward spiral for me.  I get angry at myself.  I start thinking about how I always mess things up.  I would feel guilty about wasting the milk, and also the calcium citrate powder and the  Miralax, because I can't afford to waste stuff like that.  I would think about how stupid and clumsy I am.  These kinds of thoughts would just spiral out of control and the whole day would be ruined.  And this time, that just didn't happen.  I cleaned up the milk.  I made another protein shake.  I took some anxiety medication and I got on with my day.  This probably sounds like a silly little thing, but it really was a victory.