Today I needed to go to Meijer to pick up a few things. I normally do not shop on weekends, especially not at big stores like Meijer or Walmart, because they are just too crowded and it makes me to anxious. I plan very carefully so that I can avoid shopping on weekends. I make sure I pick up anything I'll need for the weekend by Friday morning at the latest. If I do need something on the weekend, I go to the little Kroger in my small town on Saturday or Sunday evening or occasionally bright and early on Sunday morning, and it's not too crowded there at those times. But I plan very carefully to make sure I won't need to shop on the weekend.
Well, my cat Cayenne has been staying with Mike since I moved out because she likes to sit outside on the porch in the summer and I can't let her outside here at my new apartment (which isn't really so new anymore, but whatever). But today I learned that Mike is going to be moving in with his mother, at least for a while, because she is having some health problems and can't be alone right now. I didn't want Cayenne to go to his mom's with him, partly because she will be stressed out by moving and I don't want to stress her out by moving there and then again later by moving to my apartment, and partly because she pees outside of the litter box often and I don't want her to pee all over Mike's mom's house. So I was going to pick her up tomorrow and bring her to my place.
But that meant I had to go to Meijer today to get some supplies. I need cat food. I need a litter box and kitty litter. I would have shopped for those things a day or two ago, but Mike didn't inform me until this afternoon that this was happening and it was happening today. So I had no time to plan. I had to go to the store today.
So I went. It was horribly crowded. I had a really hard time finding some of the things I needed. I think there were eight things on my shopping list, and it should not be that difficult to pick up eight items and pay for them, but by the time I found everything, I was exhausted and on edge.
There were only a few registers open and there were long lines at all of them. I don't understand why stores don't have more clerks on duty during busy times. If they only plan to have a few clerks working, even when it's really busy, why do they install so many registers? Those registers have to be expensive. There are something like 15 registers at the front of the store and only five are open, one of which is for people with ten items or less. That makes no sense to me.
Isaac and I got in line. And waited. And waited. And then, Isaac barked at this guy that walked past us. He hasn't barked in a store or other public place in several months. The last time was at the thrift store, when he saw another service dog. That was before I moved, so it might have been in March or the beginning of April. And that time, he stopped as soon as I corrected him.
So today, I corrected him, and he stopped. Then the guy walked past again, and Isaac barked again. I don't know what it was about the guy that Isaac was barking about, but the guy didn't do anything inappropriate. Isaac was being totally inappropriate. The poor guy felt bad and apologized to me, and I assured him it was not his fault and apologized to him. I pushed my cart off to the side and started to leave the store, with Isaac in tow. Then I realized I'd left my purse in my cart and had to go back for it. I was horribly embarrassed. Isaac was not barking anymore, but I was still embarrassed and anxious and also angry at him for barking and causing me to have to leave without buying my stuff that had been so difficult for me to gather in the first place.
I got out to the car, where I had a full blown anxiety attack. I took some meds and sat in the car and cried for a long time.
I couldn't leave Isaac in the car while I went back in to finish my shopping, because it's too hot to do that. I thought I should take him home, then go back to the store (it would take me about an hour to drive him home, then drive back there) and finish shopping, but I just couldn't do it. It seemed to hard, too overwhelming. I was mad because it had been so difficult for me to get the things on my list in the first place, and now I had nothing to show for my efforts. I cried for a while, and then I drove home. I took more anxiety meds and lay down on the couch for a while.
Maybe I'll try going back to Meijer late tonight, when it won't be crowded. Without my barking dog, of course. I don't know what I'm going to do about him. I'm upset because while he behaves well most of the time, once in a while he doesn't and it makes me afraid to take him places because I am never sure how he'll act. The program I got him from has not been much help. I think I need to hire a trainer to help me with him, but I can't afford it. I'm still paying his program. I can't afford to pay them plus pay another trainer, and I shouldn't have to pay another trainer, that's what I am paying the program for. I feel like I should be able to get him under control but I don't know how. I don't know how to train a service dog, that's why I wanted a dog from a program.
That guy could have had something on him that smelled suspicious to Isaac. I have a rottie mix that always barks when the neighbors cook with epazote. It's a mexican herb. No idea why it bothers my dog, but it does. They cook with it alot so we have just tried to distract the dog when she does it. She loves playing with balls so when she starts barking I make her sit and stay. If she does then she is rewarded with the ball. If not then she gets a scolding and atime out in a room without me. She's not a service dog and I have no idea what training a service dog gets but I hope you can figure out something. Maybe call the program and ask for a caseworker to come out and visit you and Isaac then explain to her the situation. Stress that there is not point in you having a service dog if you have to leave him at home especially at a time when you need him.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a can of tuna and a cardboard box that you can fill with shredded paper it should work for the cat for tonite. Doesn't he have litter and food he can bring when he brings the cat over?
I'm sure something about him did seem, or smell, suspicious to Isaac. But he can't bark in the store like that. Or if he does, he has to stop when I tell him to.
DeleteMike has a litter box and cat food, but he also has two other cats. So he is keeping those things for those two cats, which are moving to his mom's with him. I wish he had given me more notice. He knows I do better if I have a couple days notice to plan for things. But I can't control what he does.
Cayenne is going to stay with him for a couple more days and in a day or two when I am feeling better, I will go shopping and then go pick her up.
I so understand the feeling of being overwhelmed at a busy loud store. I had to go grocery shopping yesterday and just about lost my mind with the amount of people, the beeping sounds, kids screaming, and general chaos. I don't have anxiety as you do but think I have misophonia cuz most noises drive me nuts. I do what I can to go out when I know it wont be as busy but we can't always do that. I'm sorry this was such a lousy experience for you! It sounds awful. I hope you can find someone to help with this today so you don't have to go.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with the other poster about contacting the program about Isaac's barking. You should be able to take him places and utilize him as a service dog without anxiety over whether he is going to behave properly. But I think he's also still a dog even despite being trained as a service dog and won't always be perfect. Something about the people he barked at bugged him. Animals are very intuitive. I wonder what he was trying to tell you? I have no doubt that Isaac had the best intentions for you by barking. It sure sounds stressful though. I hope he doesn't do that often.
ReplyDeleteI have contacted the trainer from the program a couple times. She has been less than helpful. She told me that he should not be doing that. Well, duh. I knew that. She told me to correct him, to put him in a down stay, which I did. He doesn't bark often in pubic but it has happened a few times. The last we several months ago. That time, correcting him and putting him in a down stay for a few minutes stopped the barking. Yesterday, he stopped initially, but then barked again. I understand he's a dog and won't always be perfect. People aren't always perfect either, of course dogs can't be perfect all the time. But it makes me afraid to take him places, especially places where it would be a problem if I had to leave suddenly due to his barking. That's why I don't take him to doctor's appointments, at least not usually. I once had to leave an appointment with my therapist early because he would not stop barking. Not only did I lose out on the benefit of therapy that day, I also had to pay for the full session even though I had to leave halfway through. To avoid that kind of thing, I don't take him anymore. I can't trust him to behave. Most of the time he does behave, but I can't count on it. The trainer from the program told me if he keeps barking, to take him out. Well, I do. But that's not a good solution to me. There are people that take their service dogs to work all day. What do they do if their dogs bark at work? Just leave work early and go home? That can't be right.
DeleteIf there was someone that could help, I would not have been shopping by myself yesterday in the first place.
DeleteThat sucks. I wish he wouldn't bark so you would feel OK with taking him everywhere you need and that you had someone to help more often.
ReplyDelete