Some Kids Grow Up Too Fast

Isaac's friend K came over today to visit.  She comes over every day now.  We went out to take Isaac for a walk.

While we walk, she talks to me.  Kids tend to share a lot, although they often stop being so talkative by the time they reach her age, which is nine.  Many years ago I taught preschool for a little while and I always thought how the parents would be amazed, and probably embarrassed or horrified, if they knew the things their kids would tell the teachers.  By the time they reach age nine, though, kids usually start to shut down a little bit.  They start learning that some things are considered "private" and that some things that happen in their homes might not be considered "normal," and they share less.

But K talks.  She tells me all kinds of things.  She told me today how she doesn't like her grandma because her grandma was "mean" to her mom when she was growing up.  She told me she likes her grandpa but rarely gets to see him because he likes to get drunk too much.  She told me how she is not allowed to see her uncle because he molested her and she doesn't know why he isn't in jail for doing that.

She told me how she is no longer allowed to play with the two little girls that live behind her house because "they have pills all over the house" and "spoons with white stuff on them" and the parents were teaching their kids (who are five and seven years old) how to "snort stuff."  Apparently K's mom decided this was not a good place for her daughter play.  I told K I thought her mom was right about that. 

K seemed worried about the two children that live there.  She is kind of like the little mommy of the neighborhood, it seems.  I told her that her mom could call Children's Services if they were worried and someone would come out to check on the kids and make sure they were OK and that if there were drugs lying around the house, they would make them clean it up.

But wow.  Just wow.  I'm pretty sure when I was nine I didn't know anything about "white stuff on spoons" or "snorting stuff."  I think I was in fifth grade before they started the "Just Say No" stuff in school, and even though, I'd certainly never seen drugs.  OK, I am in my 40's and I've never seen most drugs.  I've seen pot but never cocaine or heroin or crack or anything like that.

You know, I did not know the word "molested" when I was nine, either.  I was molested when I was young, but I didn't know the word for it.  I guess it's a good thing kids today have the words for it because that certainly makes it easier to talk about it and to tell someone if it's happening to you.  But it's sad that kids need words for things like that.

What kind of world are we raising kids in?  It's scary.